


Hurricane

by quinnfabray



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, Serial Killer Quinn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-12
Updated: 2012-11-12
Packaged: 2017-11-18 12:41:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 33,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/561169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quinnfabray/pseuds/quinnfabray
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Quinn tries to be normal, for Rachel's sake more than anything, but she can only hide her past for so long. And when it comes back to haunt her, it's back with a vengeance. AU. Serial killer Quinn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Quinn walks the halls of McKinley with her head held high; her eyes – always cold and calculating – sweep the crowd, watching as people recoil from her gaze. Her lips are turned upward into a small smirk and her stride is fast. She's the head cheerleader and people fear her; they stay out of her way, just the way she likes it. She doesn't need to pretend to care about anything when she's alone.

She works her closed jaw back and forth when she sees Finn Hudson waiting near her locker. He looks upset and she doesn't feel like dealing with this but this is what teenagers do: they create drama.

She comes to a halt next to her locker and crosses her arms in front of her, staring up at Finn. She raises her eyebrow and sighs impatiently. "Yes?"

"You slept with Puck," he hisses, his eyes narrowing at her. "He told the entire football team. How could you do that to me?"

Quinn rolls her eyes and shrugs. "It's not a big deal, Finn. It's not like it meant anything."

"Then why did you do it?"

She doesn't know, not really. It really didn't mean anything. She had been drinking and Puck had been leering at her all night; he cornered her on her way to the bathroom and she let him guide her into his bedroom. It didn't make any difference to her, though she probably wouldn't have consented had she not been drinking. "I was drunk," she replies.

Finn rages on about how she was  _his_  girlfriend and that she ruined everything for him while she takes her books from her locker. When he shouts "Don't you feel anything?!" she slams the door shut and faces him. He shrinks back when she looks at him, she imagines her eyes are black and emotionless, and she lifts her chin. "We're done," she says before walking off.

* * *

She joined glee because Sue told her to but she isn't that invested in destroying it. It's a place where she can sit and read, if nothing else. She only pays attention when Rachel sings, because the girl's voice makes something stir deep inside of her, something primal that she can't repress.

When Rachel sings, she looks at Quinn. She's the only person who can look her in the eye without flinching. Santana pretends she can but Quinn can tell her eyes make her second-in-command uncomfortable. Quinn doesn't particularly care for feelings but she thinks that if things were different she could love Rachel.

When she enters the choir room Finn looks like a wounded puppy and Puck looks annoyingly smug. She ignores both of them and walks to the back of the risers, taking her usual seat in the corner. Rachel is in the front row but turns around to give her a smile and a wave. Quinn acknowledges her with a small, but genuine smile, before she opens her book and blocks out the world.

Only, after ten minutes, she can't seem to drown out the loud voices in the room and she looks up to find Rachel standing in front of everyone, which was nothing out of the ordinary. She quirks an eyebrow when she sees Rachel's lower lip tremble.

"You need to get it through that thick skull of yours that you're not any better than the rest of us," Mercedes says heatedly and Quinn sighs quietly. It isn't the first time that everyone is ganging up against Rachel but usually the tiny girl doesn't let it get her down. This time is different and Quinn briefly wonders why.

Rachel crosses her arms over her chest and stares down at her feet while taking the abuse from her peers. Quinn drops her book in the empty seat next to her and gets up. She stops near Rachel and looks at the girl, ignoring the stares of the others. "Are you okay?" she asks softly.

The other girl nods jerkily but continues to look down. Quinn's jaw clenches and she turns on the heels of her immaculately white sneakers to glare at the other club members. "What's going on?" she asks, her voice no longer gentle.

"Little miss perfect is under the impression that she's getting the solo for Regionals," Mercedes replies snarkily, her eyes still on Rachel.

"And?"

"And, what about the rest of us?" Kurt supplies.

"You mean: what about  _you_?"

Kurt shifts uncomfortably and shrugs. "Yes."

"When you start practising as much as Rachel does, you might have a shot. I wouldn't count on it."

Santana scoffs loudly, making her presence known. "Since when do you come to Berry's defence?"

Quinn shifts her gaze and looks at Santana. "Since she doesn't deserve this crap from any of you and clearly no one else seems to do something about it." She's not at all affected by Santana's sneer or the others' surprised expressions. "Rachel gets the solo because she's our best singer. If you want to beat her, you better start working hard," she says, giving Kurt and Mercedes a pointed look before returning to her seat.

Mr. Schuester enters the room, fifteen minutes late, and tells Rachel to take a seat. The way he says it makes Quinn clench her fists, he was a teacher, he was supposed to make sure no one got bullied and yet... She rolls her eyes when he starts talking about another 80s ballad he thinks they should perform at Regionals and tunes him out.

At the end of the hour Kurt and Mercedes have managed to convince Mr. Schuester to hold a competition to see who gets the coveted solo. Everyone storms out when the bell rings, except for Rachel. She remains in her seat.

Quinn stops next to the girl's chair and hovers for a second. "Rachel?" she asks, making sure her voice held some semblance of emotion.

Rachel startles slightly and looks up at the blonde. "Quinn..." she breathes.

Quinn gives her a smile. "I hate to sound repetitive, but are you okay?"

The brunette nods lightly and then shrugs. "It's nothing new, right?"

The question was rhetorical, so Quinn doesn't bother answering. "It got to you, today," she says instead.

Rachel nods slowly, regarding Quinn curiously. "You noticed."

Quinn shifts a little. "Yeah."

They fall into an uncomfortable silence for a minute before Quinn glances at her watch and straightens. "I have to go."

"O-okay."

"Take care, Rachel," Quinn says and then she's gone.

She walks across the parking lot to her car, throws her backpack in the trunk and hops in. Half an hour later she arrives home. The house is quiet so she assumes her mother is out. Her suspicions are confirmed when she spots the bright yellow note on the fridge saying there is a plate in the microwave and that she'd be home alone for the next week.

Her mother is an overall nice person but she doesn't know how to deal with Quinn. Since Quinn prefers to keep to herself her mother leaves her alone most of the time, as long as she keeps her grades up.

She foregoes dinner and goes straight up to her room, where she puts down her bag and settles down on her bed with her laptop. She's been working on a plan for two weeks and tomorrow she'll finally be able to execute it. This night is reserved for hashing out all the details and logistics; failure is not an option when it comes to this. One slip up and she ends in jail. Murder is still frowned upon, even when the person you kill is a known paedophile and drugs dealer.


	2. Remembrance

This time Rachel is leaning against her locker when she arrives. The girl takes a step back and waits until Quinn is close enough to say good morning with a beaming smile. Quinn thinks nothing good can possibly come of being nice to Rachel but she still returns the smile as best she can. "Hey."

"Hello, Quinn. I hope this day finds you well."

Quinn nods half-heartedly and deposits her bag inside her locker. She can feel Rachel watching her as she rummages around for her books and inwardly sighs at the attention the smaller girl is bestowing upon her.

"I, um, I wanted to thank you for yesterday," Rachel says once Quinn turns back to her. She holds out a plastic container and basically shoves it in Quinn's free hand. "I baked you my famous 'thank you' cookies," Rachel explains after having noticed the blonde's eyebrow rise.

"You don't have to thank me, Rachel," Quinn drawls, hesitantly eyeing the container in her left hand. "I didn't do anything." She begins to walk and Rachel falls into step beside her.

"I-I, no, no-one has ever stood up for me before," Rachel says shyly. "I, just, thank you."

Quinn feels  _something_  at the mention of how Rachel has been treated in the past and swears that, from that moment on, she would be there to stop it. Rachel is a good person underneath all her little flaws and she doesn't want the girl to think she's worth less than she is. She sees what this sort of treatment is doing to Rachel, she notices when she returns from a bathroom break with slightly red eyes and knows that she's been crying.

"Don't mention it," Quinn says eventually.

Rachel shoots her a shy smile and she is once again reluctant to disappoint her so she curls her lips up into a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes but only a very observant person would notice. "I'll see you later," Rachel utters. Quinn nods and watches her walk off. She wonders what she's doing, becoming Rachel's protector, but she can't find it in herself not to protect Rachel.

* * *

She has Cheerio practise before she can execute her carefully lain out plans. She's used to going through the motions – she's been doing it her entire life – so Coach Sylvester doesn't notice that she's preoccupied and isn't putting in the maximum amount of effort required by the totalitarian coach.

Santana and Brittany tell her Puck is having a party and that she should attend. As head cheerleader she can't afford to be outside of the social happenings in Lima on a Friday evening. Quinn merely shrugs and changes into a pair of black jeans and a black long-sleeved shirt. After tying her shoelaces she bids the two other girls goodnight and leaves.

Her victim usually spends his Friday night at Breadstix, where he gets a meal and then loiters, trying to win some new customers.

Quinn pulls up at the most popular restaurant in Lima at 6 p.m.; the place is relatively empty, rush hour is around 8 p.m., so she manages to get an ideal spot near the back. From there she can observe the goings-on in the restaurant and keep an eye on the target.

Sandy Ryerson didn't disappoint. He strolls in at 6:15 p.m. exactly and is guided to his regular spot by a friendly waitress. He orders his usual dish and spends most of his time observing the crowd. Quinn's lip curls into a sneer when she sees his glance lingering on a teenage boy.

Half an hour later, Sandy gets up and leaves Breadstix. Quinn waits a minute before slapping down a couple of bills and heads outside. There's an alleyway next to the building and that's where she finds Sandy, whistling a tune that she's sure Rachel would recognise.

She walks up to him. "Mr. Ryerson."

"Ah, a new customer," he says gleefully. "What can I do for you?"

Quinn quickly takes a syringe from her pocket and jabs it into his neck. He squeaks and begins to stumble. Now comes the tricky part: Quinn has to transport Sandy from the alley to her Range Rover without being seen.

She takes a calming breath and steadies Sandy by wrapping her arm around his waist. He starts mumbling incoherently and Quinn picks up the pace. Within five minutes he'll be out cold.

They exit the dark passageway and Quinn looks around. There are a few people milling about at the entrance to the restaurant but they seem preoccupied so she hurries, practically dragging Sandy along at this point, and arrives at her car a minute later. She opens the back door and ushers him inside. Once he's lying down on the backseat she slams the door shut and moves to the driver's seat.

She feels relief flooding her body when she reaches the main road. The adrenaline is still coursing through her veins and she can't help but smile. The toughest part was over; now she could start having some fun.

There is a dirt road a few miles outside of Lima that she uses to get to a barn. The land on which the barn was built belonged to a recluse woman who never left her house; Quinn came across the place when she was 10 and had run away. It was completely deserted, proving to be the perfect venue for Quinn's favourite pastime.

The car stalls and she gets out, walking over to the trunk where she deposited a Cheerios duffel bag filled with the necessary equipment. After she put everything ready she uses a wheelbarrow to transport Sandy from her car to the barn; she'd done it more often than she could count and, with Sue's strenuous cheerleading regime, she had the strength to successfully lay him out on an empty table after having removed his clothing.

The floor was protected by a layer of clear plastic and Sandy was bound to the tabletop by duct-tape and saran wrap. Quinn is satisfied with the set up and puts on her black leather gloves before she starts sharpening her knife, waiting for Sandy to wake up.

A good ten minutes later her next victim comes to and looks around groggily. Quinn smirks down at him and watches as he struggles to escape. "Are you insane? What are you doing?" he half-shrieks.

She shrugs and nods, she probably is insane. Sandy continues to trash about while Quinn begins preparing for the main event. "You know, Mr. Ryerson, it's a shame I couldn't get to you earlier," she says conversationally while running her knife down his cheek, leaving a trail of blood in its wake. "But believe me; I'll make sure to make you suffer like you made those boys suffer."

Sandy whimpers and begins to plead for his life as soon as he realises that he's in serious trouble. The blonde ignores his pleas and continues running the knife over his body until she reaches his hand. She smiles at Sandy and reaches back to grab a pair of garden shears.

"What are you doing?  _Oh god_!"

"I know, it's not very original, but I always take a keepsake," she explains as she pries open his mouth and quickly jams a piece of wood in so that his mouth stays open. "What can I say?" She takes the pliers and positions them over his right canine. "Blame the movies," she finishes as she starts to loosen the tooth, struggling a little before it comes free. She deposits the canine in a small silver box, which she then places inside her duffel bag with a satisfied smile.

Sandy is screaming, not that it matters; no one would hear him. She chuckles lowly and puts down the pliers in favour of her blade. "Let's get this over with."

* * *

After she disposes of the body – she chopped it into small pieces which she then placed inside a plastic bag along with several stones before dropping it in the Ottawa River – she starts the drive home. She's slowly coming down from her high and enjoys the landscape, listening to her iPod on shuffle when her phone rings. She frowns; she rarely gets calls, and hesitantly answers the call.

"Hello?"

"Good evening, Quinn!"

She briefly squeezes her eyes shut when she hears Rachel's melodious voice and hovers her finger over the end call button before replacing it on the steering wheel. "Hey, Rachel," she replies hesitantly while turning down the volume on her iPod.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything; I know that it is a Friday evening and you are the head cheerleader thus surely you–"

"Rachel," Quinn interrupts, half-amused by Rachel's ramblings. "You're not interrupting anything," she assured the girl.

"Oh, okay. Lovely. I-I was wondering if you would mind accompanying me to the mall tomorrow? I can go on my own but I-I thought that, if you are available, you could find it agreeable?"

Quinn chuckles softly. "What time?"

"I-is that a yes?" Rachel asks, barely able to mask the excitement in her voice.

"Yes, that's a yes."

"Excellent! Um, I'll pick you up at 2 in the afternoon?"

"How about I drive to your house and we go from there?" Quinn suggest instead, not entirely comfortable with anyone seeing her home.

"No problem. I shall see you then."

"Alright. Good night, Rachel," Quinn says kindly.

"Good night, Quinn."

Quinn spends the rest of the drive in absolute silence, wondering what she was doing with Rachel. When she arrives home she makes a beeline for the kitchen where she fixes herself a bacon sandwich and eats it quickly before heading up to her room.

She exhales loudly, lets herself fall back onto her bed and looks up at the ceiling. "What are you doing?" she mutters and shakes her head. She gets up after a few minutes and heads for her bathroom to wash up and change into a pair of shorts and a shirt. By 11:30 p.m. she's in bed. Two hours later she's still wide awake, thinking of Rachel. She slams her fist down onto her mattress in frustration and gets up. She pads over to her desk and turns on her Mac, she might as well spend some time going through the police files that she acquired by hacking into the Lima Police Department's system.

Spending time with Rachel wasn't so bad, Quinn mused as she followed the smaller girl around the mall, flitting from shop to shop. She figured that, if their peers put in a little effort, they might genuinely enjoy Rachel's company but no one was willing to stick around after hearing how verbose she was or how she dressed. Quinn didn't care how Rachel dressed and she enjoyed the fact that Rachel was a walking-talking Thesaurus. At least their conversations were stimulating.

After they finish Rachel's errands Quinn mentions that she needs to drop by the sporting goods store, though she doesn't mention that it's to buy new equipment to kill people. Rachel gladly accompanies her and looks around, giving the blonde some privacy.

Quinn is inspecting ice picks when she looks up to find Rachel talking to Finn. Her attention transfers to the pair and she watches them from behind a stack of hockey skates. Finn puts his hand on Rachel's bicep and ducks down a little, saying something that makes Rachel shake her head wildly. The tall boy doesn't let go of Rachel's arm when the girl tries to shake him off and that's enough incentive for Quinn to put down the ice pick and march over to the duo.

"Is everything okay?" she asks Rachel as she comes to a halt next to the other girl, looking for any sign of discomfort.

"You're here with her?" Finn blurts before Rachel can answer, a confused look distorting his features.

"I am perfectly okay, Quinn, thank you for asking," Rachel says to Quinn before looking up at Finn to reply to his question. "Yes, I am here with Quinn. I invited her along on this little excursion."

"But, you two aren't even friends," he continues, eyeing Quinn suspiciously.

"I like to believe that we have forged a tentative friendship, not that the matter of our relationship pertains to you, Finn," Rachel says, adding fuel to Finn's confusion by making sure to use words he wouldn't understand.

"Wha – Rach, I  _know_  Quinn, she's mean!"

Quinn works her jaw back and forth, getting increasingly annoyed by Finn talking about her like she isn't standing right in front of him. Though she finds the idea of Finn claiming to  _know_  her absolutely preposterous.

"Think what you must," Rachel concedes. "I think it is best that we end this conversation now. Enjoy the rest of your day, Finn." Without another glance at the boy Rachel takes Quinn's hand in her own and drags the blonde away.

No one has ever held her hand, Quinn muses, and she's not entirely sure she likes the feeling but she lets Rachel guide her through the stacks of sneakers and jerseys until they are once again surrounded by the hustle and bustle of the mall.

Rachel gives Quinn a sheepish smile before releasing her hand. "Sorry," she mumbles and Quinn thinks she spies a blush on the smaller girl's cheeks.

"It's okay," she says, feeling uncomfortable but trying not to show it. "Do you want to stop by the Lima Bean?"

The brunette nods enthusiastically and the awkward moment defuses. They leave the mall and walk towards the popular café, Quinn listening to Rachel's chattering with mild interest.

Rachel tells her that she didn't have any friends growing up and Quinn can relate; she didn't want friends though, whereas Rachel would have benefited from the interaction. Quinn learns all about Hiram and Leroy Berry and how they are often away, they work hard, but they trust Rachel because she's a good kid. Quinn nods while Rachel tells her she gets lonely at times.

"I, Quinn, you're my first real friend," Rachel confesses, though Quinn had guessed this might be the case.

"What about the glee club?"

Rachel snorts indignantly, blushing slightly at her outburst and shakes her head. "You know how they treat me. Kurt and Mercedes would gut me for a solo, Santana would gut me for no good reason and the others think I'm a loser and wouldn't dare being caught in my presence outside the choir room. Only Tina, Mika a-and you don't treat me like a leper," she says with a self-deprecating smile at the end.

"And Finn? He talked to you earlier, right?"

"He did, though I'm unsure why he approached me."

"What did he say?" Quinn doesn't want to pry but she knows how to do girl-talk from all the cheerleading camps she was forced to attend.

Rachel takes a sip from her drink and hesitantly answers the question. "He asked me out o-on a date."

"Oh. Well, isn't that good?"

The other girl shrugs. "I don't like him that way, I suppose. And he used to be your boyfriend so I can't date him, I believe it's part of the bro-code."

Quinn looks at her in mild amusement. "The  _bro-code_?"

"It is against the code to date your friend's ex-boyfriend/-girlfriend," Rachel states, her expression entirely serious until she meets Quinn's eyes and she cracks a smile.

"Would you say we're  _bros_ , then?" Quinn asks, her eyebrow raised.

Rachel smiles and nodded. "I-I mean, if that's okay with you?"

Quinn is sure she could do without having a bro, but she finds herself nodding anyway. Rachel beams a smile and bounces in her seat. Quinn smiles at her enthusiasm and finishes her drink, waiting for Rachel so that she can drive her home.

"I had a wonderful day," Rachel tells her as Quinn parks the car in front of her house. "Thank you for coming."

"No need to thank me, Rachel. I had fun," Quinn replies.

"Good, I'm glad. I'll see you at school?"

"See you then."

Rachel hesitates for a moment before she leans towards Quinn and places a kiss on her cheek. A blush spreads over the girl's cheeks and she pulls back, smiling shyly before exiting the car. Quinn watches her walk up to the front door of the Berry residence and returns the small wave Rachel sends her before entering the house. Once Rachel is out of sight she expels a breath of air and goes home, continuously questioning what she was doing and that she should simply stop talking to the smaller girl because wherever this was leading, it wasn't anywhere good.

* * *

Quinn is used to waking up in the middle of the night, bathing in sweat and breathing heavily as she attempts to banish the images from her mind. It's been a while since the last time but she has been having the same dream for thirteen years now; ever since she was four, and it never fails to throw her off.

 _Her mother, her_ real _mother, Judy, is standing in front of the door of her darkened room. Quinn and her sister, Francine, are huddled in the corner, watching the events unfurl. The door splinters, light from the hallway streams in and clearly illuminates the panic on her mother's face. Russell, her father, enters the room, carrying an axe, and looks at the girls. He moves towards them but is stopped by Judy, whom he simply flings aside. The older woman collides with Quinn's bookcase and whimpers in pain but immediately gets up and pulls on Russell's arm as he nears the sisters._

" _Russell! Stop it!" she screams, trying to tear him away._

 _He snarls at her, drops his axe and backhands her across the face, sending her sprawling onto the hardwood floor. Russell reaches for Quinn but Francine,_ Frannie _, who's six years older than her, pushes her away and faces their father. "Leave her alone," Frannie says as she stands in front of her four-year old sister._

" _Insolent, the lot of you!" Russell bellows and he picks up the axe. He turns to Judy, who is still on the floor, and raises his arms. "No more!" he sneers and buries the hatchet in Judy's skull. The woman gasps and falls motionlessly to the ground, blood oozing from the open wound._

_Frannie bends down and looks at Quinn. "Lucy, hide, quickly, before–" She screams as the axe is embedded in her shoulder. Quinn watches as her father pulls the blade free and brings it down again, this time entrenched in the side of Frannie's neck. Her sister splutters and gasps as blood streams down her white nightgown. When her father frees the axe she watches her sister tumble to the floor, her eyes wide and lifeless._

" _Lucille," Russell says as he looks at the trembling girl; her face streaked with tears as she clumsily crawls underneath her bed where Russell can't reach her. "Be a good girl and come to daddy."_

_His voice is soft and gentle but she doesn't reply and she watches his shoes draw nearer. "Come on, little girl. Do as I say."_

_Quinn looks at her sister and shakes her head in fear. "No," she says quietly. "Mommy," she cries. Why isn't her mother helping her?_

_Russell loses his patience. Quinn was a daddy's girl but seeing him murder her mother and sister, though she didn't completely understand what happened, made her question him. He sighs and drops the axe with a heavy thud. "It's okay," he coos. "Come here and we'll go get an ice cream. Would you like that?"_

_The little girl remains silent. And then she's suddenly yanked from under the bed by her ankles. Russell throws her against her toy chest and takes a Swiss army knife from his pocket. He closes in on the dazed girl and begins to wildly slash at her with the knife. Quinn tries to protect herself by raising her arms but the knife slices through her skin wherever Russell can reach._

_She's crying and screaming and Russell slaps her, telling her to be quiet. There's blood everywhere and she's tired and she hurts all over. "Daddy, please, stop," she cries._

_And then they can hear the sound of what Quinn thinks are thousands of police cars and Russell abruptly gets up. Without looking at his daughter he hurries out of the room and out of the house. Quinn is completely alone and she crawls over to where her mother is lying. "Mommy?" There is no answer. The little girl doesn't know why her mother isn't answering and she curls up next to Judy, clinging to her mother's bathrobe._

_Rushed footsteps draw near and she hides her face in Judy's shoulder. Quinn looks up when she hears someone talking. She sees a tall man standing in the doorway. He slowly approaches her, telling her his name, Detective Rogers, and tells her she's safe now. Shortly after that she loses consciousness._

She looks down at the faint scars riddling her arms and takes a deep, calming breath. Russell is the only one who can instil fear in her and she doesn't like it. She really doesn't like the fact that the police hadn't been able to locate him, even though Detective Rogers promised her he'd never stop looking.

Detective Rogers had been the one to take her home after she was released from the hospital. He was the only one that Quinn spoke to and he told her he'd look after her from then on. Unfortunately for her, five years later he was shot and didn't survive so she was sent to a home and eventually ended up with Gwendolyn.

Quinn turns on her side and stares at the bright display on her alarm clock.  _02:47_.  _02:48_.  _02:49_.  _02:50_. She sighs and accepts that she won't get any sleep. Gwendolyn's room is on the second floor so Quinn doesn't have to worry about waking her as she descends the stairs in her running gear. Running clears her mind and right now that's exactly what she needs. She can't afford to go to school with the dark thoughts that are currently swirling in her mind.


	3. A Slow Dance

Once she realises that it's damn near impossible for her to stay away from Rachel she gives up on fighting their friendship and soon she can't even remember why she was resisting it in the first place.

They get funny looks from their peers at school but Rachel happily mentions to Quinn that she hasn't been slushied in a while and Quinn knows it's because they're too scared to do anything with Quinn around. So they're usually left alone by everyone and they start living in a sort of bubble that only contains the two of them.

Quinn can tell Rachel is starting to grow more and more confident around her and soon the smaller girl is initiating hugs and casual touches which means trouble for Quinn.

Hugging Rachel feels nice, comforting. She's never been one for physical contact but she'll endure it, even enjoy it, if it's Rachel; their bodies fit perfectly with Rachel's chin resting on Quinn's shoulder. They are just the right height for one another, unlike Finn, Quinn muses. She becomes quite familiar with Rachel's soft and tiny body in a few weeks and with it comes a new feeling; Quinn  _likes_  it. Not that she can or wants to figure out what exactly that implies.

It's time for glee club and Quinn follows Rachel into the choir room. As always, they were the first ones to arrive and they take their seats on the front row – Rachel insists. It's almost time for Regionals and they still haven't found a set list that they can all agree on. Today was about showcasing songs; each member has to introduce a new song and at the end of the hour they are  _supposed_  to make a decision. Next to her, Rachel was practically vibrating in her seat at the chance to perform.

They sit in comfortable silence, Rachel going over her lyrics while Quinn disappears into her mind, going over her mental check-list for the weekend. She needs to pick up that ice-pick at the sporting goods store; she could do with a change.

One by one the other members begin to file into the room. Quinn sees Finn take a seat next to Rachel and narrows her eyes. He scoots his chair closer to Rachel and Quinn has to keep herself from telling him to back off. She knows this boy; his behaviour is tell-tale: he's set his sights on Rachel. That's a complication that Quinn really could do without.

"So, Rach, are you excited about today's lesson?"

"Certainly, Finn. I'm excited to see what everyone has to offer," Rachel replies, briefly looking up from her sheet.

"Oh, yeah, totally. Me, too," the boy says, grinning dopily.

Quinn rolls her eyes and imagines bashing his head in with a chair. A happy smile appears and she finds Rachel looking at her curiously. She shrugs and Rachel shakes her head; Quinn is a mystery to her but she likes a challenge.

Mr. Schuester enters the room and immediately begins to write 'regionals' on the whiteboard. He draws a line underneath the word and turns to face the glee kids. "Alright, I hope you've all prepared a song for today. Who w—" Rachel's hand is already in the air. "Rachel," Schuester says and he takes a seat to let the girl take the stage, so to speak.

Quinn gives her an encouraging nod and Rachel smiles as she hands Brad the sheet music. As soon as she begins to sing Quinn finds herself swept up in Rachel's voice and she bites her lower lip as she watches Rachel. It truly is something to behold, Quinn thinks. If she were the Grinch, she's sure she'd feel her heart triple in size right about now. Rachel finishes on a high note and Quinn can't help but smile at her as she returns to her seat.

"Well done, Rachel," Schuester says. "Who wants to go next?"

Quinn tunes out Mercedes as she gets up and starts her song. "You were perfect," she whispers to Rachel. Rachel turns to her with a hopeful look in her eyes. "Really?"

She nods and bumps her shoulder against Rachel's. "Really."

Rachel gives her a big smile in return and refocuses on Mercedes.

Fifteen minutes later Quinn is bored out of her mind. That's the downside of Rachel always performing first: none of them can hold a candle to the small girl, in Quinn's honest opinion. She opts to go last and reluctantly gets up. Rachel is giving her an encouraging look and she sighs.

Rachel helped her pick the song and gave her pointers on her singing, so Quinn is well prepared, she simply doesn't enjoy being in the spotlight. She keeps her gaze casually fixed on Rachel's gentle smile and three minutes later she plops back down onto the hard plastic chair, releasing a breath in relief.

A warm hand grips her shoulder and she turns to Rachel. "Quinn, that was amazing," the girl says, her voice slightly breathy. Quinn shrugs and accepts the compliment, despite not believing it.

The hour is almost up and Mr. Schuester gets up. "Okay, guys, that was great! Now, let's vote who gets the solo." He reached behind him and grabbed the dreaded hat. "Each of you, take a piece of paper and write down the name of who you think deserves the solo. I'll count the votes and whoever gets the most, wins!"

Quinn rolls her eyes at his obnoxious enthusiasm and waits for Rachel to take out a piece of paper before ripping a bit off. Rachel looks at her with wide eyes. "Quinn Fabray! Manners!"

"I'm sorry, Rachel. I was just in a hurry to write down your name," Quinn says quietly, smiling as Rachel's eyes soften. She receives a playful shove and Rachel decides to let it go. She writes down Rachel's name in a neat cursive script and waits for Rachel to finish writing. She takes the paper from Rachel's hand, batting a smile at her, before going to drop their pieces of paper in the hat.

"You're being very playful today, Quinn," Rachel remarks with a twinkle in her eyes as the blonde retakes her seat.

Quinn shakes her head. "I don't do 'playful', Rachel," she says with a blank look on her face. Rachel rolls her eyes and pokes her in the stomach. She repeats the process, poking Quinn gently until she cracks a smile. Rachel smiles widely at her.

"You're evil," Quinn mutters.

"Okay, guys! The votes are in and we have a winner!"

Quinn sees Rachel cross her fingers and she swears that if the other girl doesn't win, she'll kill every single person who didn't vote for Rachel.

"Rachel, you will be our featured soloist for Regionals! Congratulations!"

Rachel bounces in her seat and Quinn can tell she's trying to tone it down. "I knew you'd win, Rach," she says, feeling proud of the girl and maybe a little disappointed that she won't have to murder the other glee kids.

"Thank you for your vote, Quinn. It means a lot." Rachel looks at her, bashfully, before Finn taps her on the shoulder and she turns around, her back to Quinn.

"Yeah, sure," she mutters under her breath. Glee is over and they are free to leave so she gets up and exits the room. She'd wait for Rachel but the surge of annoyance she felt when Finn blatantly demanded Rachel's attention has her confused and she doesn't want to be around the smaller girl. She's at her car when she sees Rachel hurrying towards her.

"Quinn! Why didn't you wait?" she asks, a little out of breath from the running.

Quinn shrugs and drops her bag in the backseat. "You were busy," she says.

"I – I wasn't... Finn just wanted to ask me a question. It took only a few minutes, you could have waited."

Quinn raises her eyebrow at Rachel. "I'm not your lap dog, Rachel. I think I'm allowed to do as I please."

Rachel is understandably taken aback by Quinn's sudden mood swing and she frowns. "Of course you're not my lap dog. I certainly didn't mean to imply that you are, I'm – I'm sorry if I did."

There's an uncomfortable silence between them and Quinn needs to leave. "Look, you can ask Finn for a ride home, okay? I need to go."

"I-I don't understand. Did I do something wrong?" Rachel looks distraught and Quinn wants to reassure her, it wasn't her fault, but she can't. She knows now that what she's feeling towards Finn is jealousy and she doesn't know how to deal with this; it's a completely new feeling and she needs to calm her mind before she can be around Rachel again.

"Just go with Finn," she says and gets in the car. She's careful not to hit Rachel when she backs out of the parking space and then she's gone. She sees Rachel in her rear view mirror and she knows she'll have to apologise later, but for now she has other priorities.

* * *

She spends her evening in the barn with Matthew Benson, another victim for her to play with. Afterwards, as she drives home, she decides to take Rachel a peace offering of sorts and she stops by the vegan ice-cream shop that Rachel loves.

It takes her ten minutes to reach the Berry residence and she hopes the ice-cream hasn't completely melted yet. She parks her car and takes the plastic bag containing the ice-cream with her as she exits. By the time she reaches the front door it swings open and reveals Rachel.

"Hi," Quinn says, trying to ignore the length of Rachel's shorts.

"Quinn..."

Rachel sounds unsure and Quinn doesn't blame her. She knows her behaviour earlier that day wasn't acceptable. "I come baring ice-cream," she says, lifting the bag in her right hand. "It's vegan," she adds quickly.

"Alright, come in."

Rachel takes a step back and allows Quinn entrance. Quinn makes her way into the kitchen and deposits the bag onto the kitchen table. She waits for Rachel and gives her a tentative smile. Rachel has every right to be upset with her but she wishes it won't be the case. Certainly Rachel knows that Quinn is prone to 'mood swings' and she needs her 'me-time'. Quinn knows it's no excuse, though. She actually cares about Rachel, which is something new altogether, and she doesn't want to hurt the girl, at all. Their friendship is trial-and-error for Quinn, but she's doing her best.

"I'm sorry," Quinn says quietly as Rachel busies herself with getting two bowls and spoons for the ice-cream. She falters briefly when Quinn speaks and she puts everything on the table.

She turns to Quinn with a serious expression and she nods, accepting the apology. "I can't say I understand what I did to warrant such behaviour but thank you for apologising."

"I know, I'm sorry," Quinn repeats, her eyes downcast like a scolded puppy.

Rachel shakes her head and takes a step closer. "I know you're sorry," she says, gently. "Was it because I was talking to Finn, because I told you I have no interest in dating him."

"It was, because of Finn." Quinn replies.

"Okay." Rachel gave small nod and began to divide the ice-cream between the two bowls. "Just so you know, I'd never do that to you."

"I know you wouldn't."

"Then, I still don't understand. I'm used to people taking out their aggression on me – just look at Santana – but not from you..."

Quinn's shoulder slump. So much for protecting Rachel.

"Rachel, I – I..." She huffs impatiently at her own lack of eloquence. Rachel gives her an encouraging nod and she sighs. "I don't...like Finn..."  _Around you_.

"You don't like Finn? But, you used to date him."

"That doesn't mean I  _like_  him." Rachel gives her a confused look and she elaborates. "He was the quarterback, I was head cheerleader, you know how it goes. It was a popularity thing, what was expected of me, nothing more."

"Oh."

Quinn frowns at Rachel's response and she can practically see the wheels of Rachel's mind turning. She clears her throat and grabs the two ice-cream filled bowls. "Let's go watch some tv," she announces, not waiting for Rachel to reply.

She settles down on the couch and turns on the huge flat-screen tv, flipping through the channels until she gives up trying to find something good.

"Really, Quinn? Real Housewives of Orange County?" Rachel sits down next to Quinn, leaving a bit of space between them, and eyes her friend sceptically.

"What? Gwen watches it  _all_  the  _time_!"

Rachel chuckles but faces the tv instead of judging Quinn.

* * *

It's late when Quinn reluctantly gets up to go home. "Are your parents out again?" Hiram and Leroy Berry are practically living at their workplaces because Quinn has yet to meet the Berry men and she's been to Rachel's house a few times now. Rachel seems not to mind but Quinn knows better. Rachel looks lonely to her, especially all alone in that big house, and she doesn't understand why her fathers won't pay attention to their daughter but she never mentions it to Rachel. She'd rather not talk about daddy-issues, anyway. It would open a can of worms that she wants to avoid.

Rachel shrugs. "Daddy is in Atlanta and Dad is visiting his sister in California."

"Oh. Well, will you be okay?"

"I'll be fine, I'm used to it."

Rachel looks dejected and Quinn takes a step forward. "I hate that you're alone," she says softly. Rachel tilts her head up lightly in order to look at Quinn and she gives her a tiny smile.

"It's just until tomorrow morning, then I won't be alone anymore."

Because Quinn will be picking her up before school. Quinn nods and opens her arms. Rachel doesn't hesitate and steps into the hug, wrapping her arms around Quinn's waist. Quinn puts her arms around the smaller girl's shoulders and sighs contently. The embrace lasts a few minutes before Quinn pulls back. "I should get home before Gwen starts to worry."

She knows Gwendolyn trusts her, she's never done anything to cause her to feel otherwise, but she also knows not to push it. It's already after 11 p.m. and it's a school night. She also knows that Rachel gets up at 6 in the morning and she'll be too tired if she stayed any longer.

"Okay. Thank you, for stopping by, and bringing me ice-cream," Rachel utters as Quinn steps outside.

"My pleasure."

"See you tomorrow. Drive safe!"

"Sleep tight, Rachel."

As she gets into her car she wonders if Rachel ever figured out what it meant, her not liking Finn. Her bad mood was caused by Rachel talking to Finn and she knows Rachel is far from stupid. By the time she gets home she has successfully stressed herself out and she spends the night thinking about Rachel, and losing her. She doesn't want Finn to date Rachel; she doesn't want Rachel to go anywhere near Finn or she gets grumpy. Oh yes, she's in big trouble, indeed.


	4. Your Hand In Mine

There's a party at Puck's on Friday. It's all anyone can talk about for an entire week. Quinn doesn't care and isn't planning on going; she prefers to spend her time studying her next kill. It's been a while and she wants to feel that rush again but she can't afford to be sloppy so she needs to take her time to get things exactly right. She already has someone in mind and is anxious to get started but when Rachel sits down next to her during glee club on Thursday and tells her that Finn invited her to the party her plans go up in flames.

She can't let Rachel go with Finn. So she says she'll pick up Rachel at 8 the following evening and they'll go together. Rachel bounces in her seat and visibly restrains herself from hugging Quinn and Quinn can't help but smile at how adorable the girl is being.

* * *

Quinn is seriously questioning her decision-making skills when Rachel opens the door and reveals the outfit she has chosen to wear. Quinn herself didn't put a lot of effort in her appearance, opting to wear a pair of black skinny jeans, a grey sweatshirt and black combat boots. Rachel, however, is wearing a pair of rather short jean shorts, showing off her smooth, tan legs that go on endlessly, a black v-neck shirt and blue Converse.

"Hi!"

"Um, hey," Quinn mumbles distractedly.

Rachel is smiling at her when she finally lifts her eyes to meet Rachel's. She clears her throat and shrugs apologetically. "Ready to go?"

"I certainly am, and may I add that you look resplendent this evening, Ms. Quinn?"

"Thanks. You look beautiful, too, Rach," she returns. Rachel beams at her and she playfully rolls her eyes. They get into Quinn's Range Rover and head to Puck's house. It's a short drive but Rachel insists on commandeering Quinn's iPod and she lets her.

Quinn spends the drive analysing her reaction to Rachel's outfit. She can easily admit to herself that she's never been attracted to anyone and she doesn't care about sex at all, it wasn't a memorable experience for her and she doesn't care to repeat it. She  _is_ a teenager and she  _has_  hormones, they just never before made themselves known to her.

She briefly glances at Rachel and reasons with herself that she might have found the exception to the rule.

They arrive at their destination and Quinn stays close to Rachel as they enter the house. The last time she was there she had sex with Puck. She rolls her eyes at herself and follows Rachel to the kitchen. Puck's mother is a successful realtor and takes great pride in her house, it isn't as big as Gwendolyn's house (which is more like a mansion) but it certainly holds its own against the more fancy houses in Lima. The kitchen is always well-stocked with food and drinks and whenever Mrs. Puckerman is out of town for a conference or whatnot, Puck makes sure to take full advantage of that.

Quinn inwardly cringes at the scenes going on around her. The music is blaring loudly, people are grinding into each other all over the place and destroying furniture left, right and centre. Someone stumbles into her and pushing her flush against Rachel's back.

Rachel looks back at her and smiles before she takes a hold of Quinn's hand and pulls her along. The kitchen is in the same state as the rest of the house; it's packed full with sweaty, horny teenagers and Quinn tightens her grip on Rachel's hand. She doesn't particularly like large crowds of people.

Puck spots them and pulls them both into his bare arms. "You made it!" he shouts, grinning widely.

Quinn rolls her eyes and Rachel nods happily. "Let me get you guys a drink!" he continues. He leads them over to the kitchen island, which is filled with bottles of all sorts of liquor. Quinn stops him from mixing everything into a cup and takes it upon herself to fix something for Rachel. She didn't trust Noah Puckerman one bit.

"You'll like this," she says, standing close to the smaller girl so that she'd hear. She hands the plastic cup to Rachel and smiles when Rachel sips and gives her the thumbs up. Quinn nods and fixes her own drink. "Wanna go outside?" Quinn asks when she spots Finn in the distance.

Rachel nods and once again grabs Quinn's hand. The blonde leads them through the house towards the backyard, leaving behind a dejected Puck. She breathes a bit more easily once they reach the patio, despite there being twice as much people outside. They find a less crowded, more secluded spot under a tree near the back and sit down.

"Are all Puck's parties like this?" Rachel questions as she leans back against the rough bark of the tree with the entire left side of her body touching Quinn's.

"Yeah. I've only been to two or three but they're always pretty crazy."

Rachel shifts a little, turning more towards Quinn. "You've only been to a few?"

Quinn nods, taking a sip from her drink. "I'm not that into the whole party scene," she explains with a shrug. "It's too... too everything. Does that make sense?"

"It does. It is quite overwhelming."

Quinn smiles at her and they sit silently, sipping their drinks and watching their peers behave like Neanderthals. Rachel's hand brushes Quinn's and wriggles its way underneath Quinn's palm, which is resting on her thigh. Quinn watches with rapt attention how Rachel's fingers thread through her own, looking up to find Rachel watching her carefully.

"Quinn?"

The way Rachel is studying her makes the warning bells in her mind go off but she doesn't care, she usually trusts her instincts but not this time, not now. "Yeah?"

"Would it be okay if-if I kissed you?"

She quirks an eyebrow at the request and briefly debates with herself on what to say in reply. It didn't take her that long to figure out that Rachel wants more than friendship from her, she didn't get why but it became more and more obvious the more time they spend together. She wasn't leading her on but she probably wasn't rejecting the girl either. She doesn't have romantic feelings towards Rachel but there is  _something_  and that's more than she can say for Finn or Puck. She could take care of Rachel, she could make Rachel happy, keep her safe and maybe, someday, she'd be able to love her.

Rachel is anxiously chewing her bottom lip when Quinn emerges from her mind and she nods jerkily. Rachel moves, now kneeling next to Quinn, her knees pressing into Quinn's right thigh, and slowly reaches out a shaky hand. It comes to rest on the side of the blonde's neck and she uses it to pull her closer as she leans down while she put her left hand on Quinn's left shoulder to balance herself.

Quinn watches Rachel until she goes cross-eyed and is forced to close her eyes. Rachel's lips press against her and she immediately notices how soft they are. For a moment they are completely still and then Rachel begins to move. Quinn is content to let the other girl take the lead, something that would normally make her uneasy but Rachel's soothing presence makes her more relaxed. Quinn gently nips at Rachel's lower lip and the girl pushes closer to her, both her arms now around her neck. She can tell that Rachel is enjoying herself by the breathy whimpers she's expelling and she thinks she could get used to this.

And then Rachel is straddling her thighs and things are beginning to get a little too much for Quinn. She pulls back slowly and looks at Rachel; her chest is heaving, her pupils are blown and there's a small, happy smile on her face.

"Are you okay?" she asks Quinn.

"Yeah, um, are you?"

Rachel nods and sits back on Quinn's thighs, creating a little more space between them. She moves her arms from Quinn's neck and smiles shyly. Quinn thinks it's adorable.

"I-I like you, Quinn," Rachel mumbles while she fidgets with the hem of Quinn's sweater. She's nervous. She probably expects something from Quinn now. Quinn takes a breath.

"Rachel..."

"It-it's okay, you don't have to, um, perhaps this, I-I'm sorry."

"Rachel. Stop." Quinn's voice is strong and clear, unlike her feelings, and Rachel stops rambling. "I like you, too, okay? I'm just not sure what you expect to happen now?"

"Oh, um, I don't know?"

"Just, what do  _you_  want?"

Rachel sighs and takes a moment before answering. "What  _I_ want?" Quinn nods. "I want you, Quinn. That's all I want."

This was never supposed to happen, Quinn muses. She refused to deny Rachel anything and this was the result of that. Quinn knows that she can't promise Rachel anything but oh, how she wants to. A part of her wants to explore this, with Rachel, but the other part is afraid of what might happen; what might come to light. She knows Rachel, she's curious, she already asked about Quinn's past and she'll do it again, no doubt. Does it matter, though, that they're in a relationship or not? Quinn can't sever their friendship and that's exactly what she should have done but it's too late now. She's already in too deep. She might as well go with it. At least she won't have to worry about Finn anymore.

"You're sure that's what you want?"

Rachel nods slowly but surely.

"Okay," Quinn says softly.

"Okay?"

"Yeah."

* * *

After a while they decide to go back inside because it's getting a little chilly outside. They get refills for their drinks and wind through the throngs of gyrating teenagers to find a place to sit. Quinn is leading the way while Rachel hangs on to her sweater, not wanting to get separated from the blonde.

One of Rachel's favourite songs comes on and she yanks Quinn back into her. "Wanna dance?" she asks, shouting into the blonde ear.

She turns around to face Rachel. "Do you want to?"

"Only with you."

Quinn downs her drink in one go and disposes of the cup, dumping it on the nearest flat surface before nodding her assent. She's fine with doing whatever Rachel wants to, she doesn't particularly feel like dancing but she knows she  _can_  dance and it doesn't affect her either way. Her main goal is keeping Rachel happy.

Rachel smiles up at the blonde and hands her drink to a random passer-by before shyly putting her hands on Quinn's hips. "I-is this okay?"

"Of course," Quinn reassures the smaller girl and winds her arms around Rachel's waist. Rachel steps closer and begins to sway with the music.

The alcohol loosened her up and she easily falls into the rhythm that Rachel is dictating. She inwardly rolls her eyes at how they're fitting in with the rest of the dancing teenagers; bumping and grinding, sweaty and intoxicated. She dislikes it but then Rachel turns around and places Quinn's hands on her hips, moving backwards so that she's effectively grinding into Quinn. She hisses at the unexpected sensation and tightens her grip on Rachel.

Quinn is slightly panicking, she has never before felt what she can only assume is arousal and it bothers her. Rachel is opening up a whole new world to her and she's overwhelmed. She rips her hands from Rachel's body and stumbles back. "I-I, I need some air," she mutters and flees the room.

She goes through the front door and walks until she reaches the park across the street. She drops down on the nearest bench and tries to control her breathing. She presses her palms against her face and rocks back and forth. Sweat is dripping down her back and she hastily takes off her sweater, revealing a thin black t-shirt underneath. She runs her hands through her damp and messy hair and groans. She really needs a shower, and a Xanax.

"Fuck, fuck,  _fuck_!"

"Q-Quinn?"

She doesn't answer but she sees Rachel approaching her and quickly picks up her sweater from where she had flung it earlier. She isn't ready for Rachel to see her scars, not now and maybe not ever. Rachel eyes her curiously but doesn't say anything and takes a seat next to the blonde, leaving ample space between them. "Are you okay?"

Quinn picks at her sleeve and nods. She isn't in the mood for talking, all she wants to do is slice something up but she can't with Rachel around. She bounces her knee and looks at Rachel. "Can we go? I need to go."

"Y-yes, of course." Rachel looks at her with wide eyes and she knows she should reassure her that she's fine but she can't. Instead she jumps up and briskly walks towards her car, not waiting for Rachel. She stars the engine and waits impatiently for the smaller girl to join her.

Quinn's mind is swimming with images of Rachel pressed against her, Rachel kissing her, Rachel moaning into her ear and she shakes her head to try and get rid of them. The images are joined by those of her previous kills; blood dripping down the walls, a knife in her hand, a carefully placed incision.

"Quinn?"

Her hands clench around the steering wheel and she grits her teeth.

"What's wrong? Please, talk to me?"

She takes a deep breath through her nose and briefly glances at Rachel. She looks freaked out. "Rachel," she says in the gentlest tone of voice she can muster. "I'm sorry. I, um, I didn't mean to scare you."

"What happened, Quinn?"

They arrive at Rachel's house and she puts the car in park before she turns towards Rachel. The girl is looking worried and Quinn sighs. "I need us to take things slow."

Rachel frowns before realisations dawns on her face. "You mean, um, the-the dancing?"

"Yeah. It's just that, Rachel, I..." she trails off because she has absolutely no way to explain her behaviour without revealing too much.

"It's okay, we can take it as slow as you need, okay?" Rachel says and she tentatively places her hand on Quinn's.

"Thank you," Quinn replies, relieved that Rachel didn't require an explanation, for now. "I'm sorry for ruining your night."

"You didn't ruin anything, Quinn. In fact, I believe this was the best night of my young life."

"It was?" She's slightly gobsmacked as to why, but then Rachel leans in and places a chaste kiss on her lips and she understands. "Oh."

Rachel gives her a shy smile and bites her lower lip. "Are we still, I mean, I know we didn't exactly discuss the progression of our relationship but, um, is kissing still okay?"

"Kissing is still okay," Quinn assures her with a soft smile.

"Good, because I don't think I could go back to never kissing you," Rachel mumbles before she crashes her lips against Quinn's in a not-so-chaste kiss. Rachel nips at her lip and takes advantage of Quinn's surprised gasp to sneak her tongue inside Quinn's mouth. They lazily duel for domination and Quinn believes that kissing Rachel Berry is quickly becoming something that she actually enjoys doing. It's no surprise to her that the tiny singer has an incredibly skilled mouth and she feels like she's reaping the benefits of Rachel's numerous diction classes. However, Rachel's breath-control is far beyond her own and she's forced to pull back after a few minutes.

"Thank you for tonight," Rachel whispers and tenderly kisses Quinn's forehead.

"Anytime," Quinn responds dazedly.

Rachel smiles and exits the car. "Call me tomorrow?"

"I will."

"Good night, Quinn."

"Night, Rachel."

Rachel closes the door and skips towards her front door. She turns and blows Quinn a kiss before disappearing behind the closed door.

"Holy fuck," Quinn mutters. She's out of her depth with Rachel but it feels good; too good to let go. She still needs to find someone to slice up though; she's definitely still wound up. Rachel managed to temporarily calm her down but now that Quinn's alone again she decides to spring into action.


	5. Go Slow

Her knife slices through skin, muscles, sinew and bone and she takes a relieved breath. When she's killing she feels at ease. It's easy: she's in control of everything, there are no surprises. She's always 100% sure that whoever is strapped to the table is guilty of wicked things and deserves what Quinn does to them. They probably deserve worse, Quinn thinks.

The first time she killed she was six years old and still living with Detective Rogers,  _Chris_. It was the neighbour's dog, it attacked her and she whacked it with a baseball bat. The animal wasn't dead and she knew it was suffering so she ran inside, to the kitchen, and retrieved the largest, sharpest knife she could find. She slit its throat, just like she had seen her daddy do with Frannie, and watched the dog die.

Afterwards she panicked and called for Chris. He looked at her, not in surprise, but in resignation, like he had expected Quinn to do this sooner or later. Together they buried the dog and after Quinn got cleaned up, Chris sat her down on the couch and she asked him if what she did was wrong.

Chris looked at her with sadness in his eyes – Quinn remembers it very well – and nodded.  _"Yes, Quinn, it's wrong. Killing is never right."_

" _But you kill people. My daddy did, too."_

Back then, she was still a daddy's girl. It took a while for her to realise that her father was a monster and he, in turn, had created a monster when he slaughtered Quinn's family in front of her eyes.

" _You need help, Quinn. I'm going to help you, just promise me you won't do it again."_

Quinn shrugged and promised him, but she didn't keep her promise. She had seen Chris handle the mess she'd made with the dog and learned from his actions. Over the years she kept observing Chris, sneaking into his office and looking at his files, at pictures of crime scenes, preventing herself from making the same mistakes. She learned from Chris Rogers, even though he didn't know and he certainly didn't willingly help her become who she was.

Why she did it? It was the urge to inflict pain, which had always been inside of her. She learned how to deal with it, by herself, through trial-and-error. If she could be in command of the urge she would never, ever turn out like Russell Fabray.  _Never._  At least she prevented these monsters from doing whatever it was that they did to innocent people.

Her current victim, Frank Everett, is slowly losing consciousness but weakly struggles when she brings her knife down again and again. He takes his last breath and Quinn begins to chop him up so that he'd fit into the plastic bag she has ready.

By the time she gets home it's already 9 a.m. and she finds Gwendolyn eating breakfast in the kitchen.

"Where have you been?" the older woman asks when Quinn attempts to walk past the kitchen unnoticed.

"I went to a party at a friend's house," she replies.

"Quinn, you can't just go out all night and not tell me."

She thinks that it certainly isn't the first time but nods, "I'm sorry."

Gwendolyn gives her a smile. "Okay. I'll let you get some sleep, huh?"

"Thanks. Enjoy your breakfast," Quinn replies kindly and runs up the stairs to her room. She's tired and just wants to go to sleep, her mind still reeling from Puck's party and the adrenaline rush. She's putting on a pair of shorts and a Cheerios shirt when her mobile rings. Wearily, she looks at the screen. Rachel. With a sigh she answers the call.

"Hey."

"Hi, Quinn! I hope I didn't wake you?"

"You didn't wake me," Quinn says, stifling a yawn and eyeing her bed longingly. "What's up?"

"Well, I was wondering if you'd like to join me for breakfast? My fathers are out antique hunting and I've just made a lavish breakfast that I can't possibly eat all by myself."

Quinn can't help but chuckle at Rachel's plight and she rolls her eyes. "I'll be right there."

"Excellent!"

She glances down at her attire and figures she might as well go for a run, Rachel's house is a good fifteen minutes away, it could wake her up if nothing else. She grabs her running shoes from where she dumped them next to her desk and sits down on the edge of her bed to lace them up. Then she grabs a grey zip-up hoodie from her closet, puts it on, takes her iPod from her bedside table and goes downstairs.

"Did you need something, honey?"

"Oh, no, thanks. Um, Rachel called; she wants to have breakfast so I'm going over there," Quinn says to Gwendolyn.

"I hope she made coffee," Gwendolyn murmurs and Quinn hums in agreement. "Well, have fun."

"Thanks. See you later," Quinn replies and then she's out the door. She puts on her headphones and begins to jog at a leisurely pace.

She arrives at Rachel's house twenty minutes later and smiles when the smaller girl opens the door. "Hey you," she says. On the way she decided to act more like she thinks she should with Rachel; she needs to be more touchy-feely, more romantic and more enthusiastic. So she pulls Rachel into a hug and gives her a quick peck on the lips. "Sorry, I'm a bit sweaty. I shouldn't have hugged you," she muses with a frown.

Rachel merely blinks at her and slowly shakes her head. "Um, no, it – that's okay, Quinn. You-you're hardly sweaty," Rachel mumbles while she takes in Quinn's long legs, her strong thighs, her slightly heaving chest and her smirking lips. "Oh, u-um, come in!" She hastily takes a step to the left and Quinn chuckles lowly as she walks past the flustered girl and into the Berry residence.

The kitchen table is filled with various pastries, fruits, juice and coffee. Quinn takes a seat and waits for Rachel to join her before she practically dives for the coffee pot. She offers it to Rachel, who declines and opts for orange juice instead, and fills her mug to the brim with the dark liquid, savouring the aroma.

"You made all this?" Rachel nods. "When?" Quinn asks, slightly baffled.

"I got up at six and, after my elliptical routine, I felt restless so I decided to bake."

"Why did you get up at six? Isn't seven when you usually get up on weekends?"

Quinn may be many things but she listens when Rachel speaks, something that she can tell scores her a few points with the brunette. "It is. I had a few things on my mind and nothing clears it like a good workout."

Quinn sips her coffee and closes her eyes briefly. She really needs the caffeine; she's able to pull all-nighters but she is only human and the events of the previous night have got her a little weary. She'll be able to power through with enough coffee, though.

"What was on your mind?"

She gives Quinn a shy smile and bites her lip; she was thinking of Quinn. "Um, last night, mostly."

"Yeah? Anything specific?"

Quinn can see the other girl's cheeks redden slightly and she smirks.

"Maybe," Rachel drawls. She takes a bite of a blueberry muffin and wipes the crumbs off with a napkin. "There might be a certain blonde cheerleader who keeps popping up."

"Oh, is that so? She must be pretty impressive to keep your mind so busy."

Rachel chuckles bashfully and slides her hand over to Quinn's so that the tips of their fingers are touching. "Very impressive."

It's all very sweet and romantic; at least that's what Quinn assumes it is. It was never like this with Finn and she didn't know she was even capable of being this cutesy and bashful until Rachel. She almost forgets who she is,  _what_  she is, when Rachel is projecting that beaming smile of hers at Quinn and she likes it. Forgetting isn't a bad thing in her case and the more she's with Rachel, the more she forgets. She'll just have to learn how to be the perfect girlfriend, if and when they are ready to label this.

They eat their breakfast in silence and exchange shy glances and smiles until they're finished. They eat about half of the food and Quinn helps Rachel store the rest for the Berry men. They end up in front of the tv, watching a Scooby-Doo marathon.

Sometime during the marathon Rachel snuggles into Quinn's side and Quinn slings her arm around the smaller girl's shoulders so that she can get comfortable. Rachel rests her head against Quinn's shoulder and sighs contently.

Ten minutes later Rachel takes a hold of Quinn's free hand and plays with her fingers while keeping her gaze fixed on the flat-screen tv.

Five minutes after that Quinn finds herself underneath Rachel, who is now attached to her mouth. She lets it all happen until she feels small hands trying to slide her hoodie down her shoulders. She stiffens and pulls away from Rachel's insistent lips. "Wait... Stop..."

Rachel sits back and lets go of the soft material of Quinn's hoodie, looking puzzled. "Did I do something? I'm sorry, I-I didn't—"

"You're fine," Quinn interrupts. "Just, not ready for the removal of clothes," she says, feeling rather lame. She is ready for that, it's just a hoodie for fuck's sake, but how is she going to explain the scars? Not for the first time she mentally curses Russell Fabray for what he did to her.

"I'm sorry," Rachel says softly, looking anywhere but at Quinn.

Quinn shrugs. "It's okay. Um, I should probably go, though." Because now there's an awkward tension and she hates it. Rachel gives her a sad smile, nods and gets up. Quinn follows her to the door and watches the smaller girl open it. It's probably not a good idea to just leave like this so she takes a step towards Rachel and cups the girl's cheek with her left palm.

"Thank you for letting me come over, I had a great time," she says quietly while looking into Rachel's chocolate brown eyes. They are so expressive and Quinn momentarily wonders what Rachel sees when she looks into  _her_  eyes.

"I'm glad," Rachel replies in an equally soft tone of voice. "Sorry for forcing myself on you, again."

Quinn chuckles and shakes her head. "You did absolutely nothing wrong," she assures Rachel while her thumb is softly stroking the girl's soft skin.

"Quinn?"

"Rachel?"

"I, um, can I see you again tomorrow?"

Sacrifices have to be made, Quinn realises. Her Sundays are usually spent by looking through old police files, she has more than enough unsolved cases to pick her next kill from, but since she had her fill the previous night she can wait another week, surely. "Of course."

Rachel gives her that beaming smile and Quinn swoops down to kiss her once more. "I really like it when you smile like that," she confesses afterwards, resting her forehead against Rachel's.

"Keep being your charming self and I'll keep smiling."

Rachel's hands are toying with the hem of her hoodie and she occasionally feels a finger brush over her t-shirt-clad stomach. After the fourth time she's sure it isn't accidentally and she grins before pressing a kiss to Rachel's forehead. "Alright, Superstar, I really should get going."

"Okay," Rachel mumbles with a smile. Apparently the nickname scored Quinn another few points.

"I'll call you tonight, okay?" Quinn despises telephones but she'll deal, for Rachel.

"Please do."

"You have to let me go, though," Quinn mutters. Rachel is still gripping her hoodie in her hands, preventing the blonde from moving.

"Oh, sorry!" Rachel utters as she lets go of Quinn with a small blush on her cheeks.

Quinn shoots her an amused smile and a wink and finally leaves the house. She's so ready to take an epic nap, she thinks while she drives home. She can barely keep her eyes open long enough to shed her sweater and lets herself fall face-first onto her bed. It doesn't take a full minute before she's fast asleep.

* * *

She knew it wouldn't take long before Rachel demanded they have a serious talk and she had chosen that Sunday to do it. They met up at the Lima Bean, ordered their respective drinks and decided to walk down to the park since it was a beautiful sunny day and they shouldn't waste it.

They find an empty bench near the artificial lake and sit down. There is a bit of space between them that quickly disappears as Rachel scoots closer to Quinn. "So, the reason I suggested we come here was because there are a few things I'd like to discuss."

"Okay?"

Rachel gives her a reassuring smile and puts down her half-empty soy latte on the bench next to her, ready to focus on Quinn. "No need to worry, I won't ask anything you're uncomfortable with."

"Right."

"First up, I was wondering if we might define our courtship?"

"Our courtship," Quinn repeats weakly.

"Yes. You see, we've been seeing each other regularly since Friday evening, when we established that we both like each other, and we've kissed multiple times. I'm certainly not complaining but I need to know, Quinn, what you want out of this?"

Quinn figures Rachel's insecurities are popping up and she nods in understanding. "I want to be with you," she answers simply. She finishes her coffee and puts the cup down near her feet, mentally reminding herself to throw it away before they leave.

"You want to be with me," Rachel repeats. "You want to be with me?"

Quinn chuckles softly. "I know we're going against the rules a bit here but I don't want to  _date_ , Rachel, I want to skip to the part where I ask you to be my girlfriend."

"Oh."

Rachel blinks at her; clearly she hadn't expected this to happen. Quinn takes the opportunity to take Rachel's hand in her own, entwining their fingers and squeezing the smaller hand gently. "So, will you? Be my girlfriend, I mean?"

"Yes," Rachel mumbles. "Yes, definitely," she says more strongly before practically lunging herself at Quinn. They kiss briefly but heatedly before Rachel pulls back with a scandalised expression. "I'm so sorry!"

"What? You – why?"

"We didn't discuss PDA."

"Oh. Um, I'm okay with it," Quinn says, her eyes lingering on Rachel's lips. Okay, so, somewhere in between Friday and today she began to really like kissing Rachel and now she thinks she may never get enough of Rachel's perfect mouth.

"Are you sure? I'm only asking because you're the head cheerleader and I'm most likely the biggest loser at McKinley. Naturally I'd have no trouble walking down the hall while holding your hand but I fear you might want to reconsider."

The fact that Rachel thinks that Quinn wouldn't be proud to be seen with her makes Quinn ball her free hand into a fist. She doesn't care about popularity or the social hierarchy at McKinley, it's just something she uses as a cover but, should she lose it, she wouldn't feel an ounce of regret. "I don't want to reconsider, Rachel. I don't care what other people think, I don't care about any of that except the part where I'm the one holding your hand."

So maybe Quinn spent a few hours the previous night watching romantic comedies, trying to get a feel for how she should behave. It isn't that she couldn't figure this all out by herself and just do what her instincts tell her to do; it's just that she wants to be perfect, which is something she  _knows_  she's not.

"A-are you sure?"

"Of course I am," Quinn answers, keeping her voice strong and steady. "You make me happy, you make me really happy. I want you to be happy, too."

Rachel flings her arms around Quinn's neck and pulls her close. Quinn returns the embrace by placing her hands around Rachel's waist. She can feel Rachel's hot breath on her neck and she shivers briefly. "I am happy, Quinn. So happy."

They remain in their embrace for a few minutes longer before letting go. "There was something else I wanted to ask you bu-but you don't have to answer if you don't want to..."

"Shoot."

"I, um, is there a particular reason why you won't let me see you without a sweater?"

Quinn knew it would happen. She's gotten away with never showing her bare arms before because no one really cared enough to confront her. She always wears long-sleeved shirts underneath her Cheerios uniform and she's always the last one to shower but as Captain of the squad no one dares ask her. She knows Brittany saw her once but the girl merely gave her a sad smile before leaving the locker room.

She never actually spent that much time with Finn, her ex-boyfriend, other than going on the occasional date the Breadstix and she never let him touch her apart from a kiss now and then. When she slept with Puck they were both drunk, it was dark and the boy was only interested in one thing so her sweater never came off. But now, with Rachel, she would have to come up with something.

"There's a reason, yeah," Quinn admits carefully. She's not ready to share what happened to her, she might never be.

Rachel hesitates for a few seconds before she nods. "Okay."

"That's it? No third degree?" Not that Quinn wants Rachel to ask questions but she had expected it.

"No, no third degree. I trust you," Rachel says softly as she glances at Quinn. "Maybe you'll tell me when you're ready."

Rachel trusts her. Quinn inwardly sighs and thinks that she should return that trust. She will, but not just yet. "Okay."

They smile at each other and then Rachel gets up, holding out her hand for Quinn. The taller girl puts her left hand in Rachel's right and gets up. They start to walk and stop by a bin to dispose of their Styrofoam cups before continuing their walk. "So I think that went well, right  _girlfriend_?"

"It did, yeah," Quinn replies with an amused smile. Rachel looks happy, she thinks.  _She_  made Rachel happy. She definitely could get used to this.

* * *

Quinn meets Rachel at her locker and waits patiently for her to get her stuff. She had a whirlwind weekend and ended up with a girlfriend which was a whole new experience for her but, if she's being honest, she enjoys being able to call Rachel hers.

"Ready?" Rachel asks while closing her locker.

"Ready."

Quinn holds out her hand and smiles when Rachel takes it and intertwines their fingers. She glares at the gaping students they encounter while walking towards the choir room, making sure that none of them do or say anything to upset Rachel.

As usual, they are the first to arrive and they take their seats at the front. Quinn gets a book from her bag and settles in her chair, trying to get comfortable. Rachel moves her seat closer to Quinn and rests her head against her right shoulder as she reads along with Quinn.

It surprises Quinn how little she minds Rachel being this close; Rachel's proximity has a calming effect on her now and she finds herself turning her head to place a gentle kiss against Rachel's temple. It's a small gesture but Quinn can feel Rachel shiver nonetheless.

The moment is broken when the rest of the glee club begins filling in through the door. Quinn ignores everyone and returns to her book while Rachel straightens in her seat.

"Are the rumours true?" Santana asks as she and Brittany come to a halt in front of the pair.

Quinn sighs and looks up disinterestedly. "That depends on what rumours you're talking about."

Santana rolls her eyes. "The ones about you and Frodo being together."

"Oh. Yes," Quinn replies matter-of-factly and once again focuses on her book, having no interest at all to prolong this conversation. "And don't call her Frodo," she adds.

"Are you out of your freaking mind, Fabray?"

When Quinn ignores her Santana grabs the book from her hands and throws it aside. "I'm talking to you," she hisses.

Quinn arches her eyebrow and stands up, her entire body stiff with tension. "And when you have something interesting to say, I'll listen," she says between clenched teeth. "It is none of your concern whom I date so I suggest you mind your own business."

She walks to the other side of the room to collect her book before returning to seat. Santana is glaring at her but when more people start to enter the room, she takes her seat at the back of the room. Brittany gives her an apologetic look before going up to sit next to Santana.

"Quinn?" Rachel is looking at her apprehensively.

"It's okay, Rachel. I can handle Santana."

"B-but—"

"I'm still captain of the Cheerios, she knows not to push my limits or I'll make her high-school life a living hell."

"Somehow, I don't find that thought very comforting," Rachel mumbles as Mr. Schuester enters the room and demands their attention.

Near the end of the lesson Quinn sees Finn cornering Rachel and she marches up to the pair. Finn turns and attempts to shoot her a threatening glare. Quinn rolls her eyes and looks at Rachel.

"Everything okay?"

Rachel frowns and looks slightly put-off but before she can answer, Finn jumps in. "Why don't you mind your own business?" he spats.

"What is your problem, Finn?" She's sure she already knows what has his tighty-whiteys in a twist but she wants to hear him say it.

"What's my problem? My problem is that you can't date Rachel!"

"Finn, I don't think it's up to you to decide who I do or do not date," Rachel says calmly as she moves to stand next to Quinn. She knows Finn wouldn't hurt her but she feels safer next to Quinn.

"But I wanted to take you out!" His voice is rising and the others are starting to notice.

"Ten bucks says Finnept already mentally shot-gunned Frodo," Santana says, snickering at the constipated look on Finn's face. Puck grinned at that, clearly not caring that his best friend was making a fool out of himself.

"Shut up, Santana!"

Finn's face is starting to turn red and Quinn sighs. "Just leave Rachel alone, alright?" she says with an air of finality.

"No.  _No_! You can't have her. You-you're not even gay!"

He's starting to get on her nerves so she takes a deep breath to calm herself. "First of all, she's not property so please stop pretending like you own her. Second, just because I used to date you, doesn't mean I'm not gay. I'm sure you've heard of the term 'beard', which is exactly what you were." Quinn's tone is harsh and she's had enough. "Now, stop whining and  _leave Rachel alone_."

Quinn turns around and walks back to where she was working on a song with Mike and Tina. She catches Santana smiling at her and she gets the feeling that she just earned herself some points with her co-captain. Rachel appears by her side and they take their seats, ignoring the way Finn is still glaring at Quinn.

* * *

After glee Rachel and Quinn have separate classes for the rest of the day, only seeing each other during lunch and in the hallways between classes. Quinn has practice after school and she can't help but smile when she sees Rachel waving at her from the bleachers. She waves back, becoming aware of the whispers coming from behind her.

The majority of the Cheerios are assembled on the football field, their eyes darting between her and Rachel. Some are snickering, others are whispering and pointing. Santana and Brittany are standing separate from the group, ignoring whatever the rest is doing.

Quinn sighs and stands up straight. "Laps,  _now_ ," she growls. "You stop when I tell you to stop; otherwise you'll be doing suicides until I decide you've had enough.  _Go_!"

She watches them run for a few seconds before climbing up to take a seat next to Rachel. Rachel smiles at her and scoots closer to her girlfriend until the sides of their bodies are touching.

"You certainly rule with an iron first," Rachel says.

"It's the only way to get them to respect me."

"What would they do if you weren't their captain?"

What would they do, indeed? Quinn thinks they'd probably take some sort of revenge against her, probably something violent and embarrassing. A slushie facial wouldn't suffice; they'd pull out all the stops. To make things worse they'd probably go after Rachel as well, now that they know Quinn is dating her. She shakes her head. "They'd get me back, and good."

She feels Rachel's warm hand on her forearm and she turns to look into worried brown eyes.

"Don't worry about it, Sue won't let me go anytime soon. She loves my 'iron fist' approach."

Rachel tightens her grip on Quinn's sleeve and leans forward, gently pressing her lips against hers. Quinn slips a hand behind Rachel's neck and keeps her in place, deepening the kiss. It doesn't take long before a water bottle is thrown at them, hitting Quinn's leg before falling onto the seat in front of her.

She checks if Rachel's okay before slowly making her way back to the field. Some Cheerios are still running but most of them have gathered near the bottom of the bleachers.

"Who threw the bottle?" she asks, watching them closely. No one replies, not that she'd expected anyone to. "I'll give you one more chance to come clean. Who threw the bottle?"

No replies.

"Okay. Britt?"

Brittany, who was standing next to Santana, bounces over to Quinn. "Yes, Q?"

While Quinn is hated by nearly all the Cheerios, Brittany is the only one who Quinn will gladly call her friend. The bubbly girl has never been anything but nice to her, despite Santana's efforts to the contrary.

"Did you see who threw the water bottle at Rachel and me?" She also knows that Brittany secretly likes Rachel, though she thought it was smart not to let Santana know. Brittany nods.

Quinn smirks at the rest of the cheerleaders. "Care to share, B?"

Again, Brittany nods. "I saw Sarah and Kim do it, but I think their aim was, like, way off because I heard them say they wanted to hit Rachel in the face," she says with a small pout. "I'm glad they missed and now you get to punish them."

She looks at the two girls in question and clenches her jaw. "Thanks, Brittany," she says, thankful that at least someone on the squad has her back. "Everyone besides Sarah and Kim, hit the showers."

Quinn turns towards the bleachers and sees that Rachel is now sitting on the bottom. She gives her a brief smile and faces Sarah and Kim. "Care to tell me why you thought it was a good idea to throw a water bottle at us?" she asks through gritted teeth. If they had been aiming for her she'd be less pissed off, but when Brittany said what she had overheard, Quinn was ready to tear the girls apart.

Sarah, the girl that has been annoying Quinn ever since she became captain, shrugs lightly. "Seemed like a good idea at the time."

Kim, Sarah's sidekick, nods and throws a glare at Rachel. Quinn wants to hurt them for even thinking about hurting Rachel but she knows she can't so she settles for the next best thing. "Coach Sylvester will hear about this, and trust me when I say you'll get what you deserve." She smirks, knowing Sue wouldn't stand for physical violence against her captain. "Now fuck off," she adds, eyes flashing dangerously. The two girls scoff but leave in a hurry, nevertheless.

A hand appears on her shoulder and she turns to find Rachel standing there. "Hey you."

"Quinn, are you okay?"

Quinn nods and can't resist the urge to hold the smaller girl close so she wraps her arms around Rachel and pulls her against her body, holding her tightly. Rachel immediately returns the hug and rests her forehead against Quinn's collarbone. "What happened?"

She doesn't want to tell Rachel that she had been the primary target of the Cheerios so she pressed a kiss to Rachel's hair. "Nothing to worry about."

"It's difficult not to worry when they start throwing things at you, Quinn." Rachel's reply is muffled by Quinn's uniform top and she sighs.

"I know, but I can take care of myself," Quinn replies, perhaps a little harsher than she had intended.

Rachel pulls back and looks at the taller girl. "I'm aware of that but I-I care about you very much and I can't help but worry..."

It makes Quinn smile and she bends down to kiss Rachel. "You're right. I'm just not used to people caring that much," she says casually and Rachel frowns.

"Quinn..."

"And that's a story for another time, Superstar. Let me take you home?"

For a second she thinks that Rachel won't let it go but then she nods and pushes onto her tiptoes to give Quinn another kiss. "You may take me home, captain Fabray."

Quinn arches an eyebrow before shaking her head with a tiny smile. "Do you mind if I shower at your place? I don't really feel like going into the locker room right now."

Rachel grabs her hand and begins to drag her towards the parking lot, providing Quinn with her non-verbal answer. Quinn manages to snatch her backpack and lets Rachel guide her. She doesn't particularly care what the cheerleaders think of her but it's nice to know that Rachel cares about her. This is probably the best mistake she's ever made.


	6. When Everything Dies

Quinn has no illusions and knows that Kim and Sarah will get her back. After she told Sue about the two girls' behaviour the Cheerios coach used them as an example. Physical violence was not acceptable, as Sue had shouted loudly. It's been three weeks, though, and Quinn knows she's being lured into a false sense of security.

Rachel is chattering about their recent win at Regionals while Quinn keeps an eye on her surroundings. She's wired tightly and ready to leap into action should someone attempt to do something. Rachel must have noticed the tension in Quinn's body because she runs her hand over Quinn's back, rubbing soothing circles over the tense muscles.

She leans closer towards Quinn. "What's wrong, baby?" she asks, her eyes searching Quinn's for any sign of discomfort.

"Nothing."

She sighs when Rachel gives her a look that makes it clear she isn't buying it. "I'm just, I don't know, I feel like something's going to happen."

"Her Quinnie senses are tingling," Brittany says from across the lunch table.

Sam is momentarily excited that someone – other than him – made a Spider-Man reference and he immediately begins to spew all sorts of facts at Brittany, who doesn't understand a word of what he's saying. He pouts and retreats to his corner of the table.

"Something bad?" Rachel asks, ignoring what Brittany said in favour of getting her girlfriend to relax.

Quinn shrugs and takes a bite from her sandwich. Her eyes never stop roaming the cafeteria, much to Rachel's obvious dismay.

"Quinn."

"Rachel?"

Rachel sighs and stops rubbing Quinn's back since she clearly isn't relaxing. "Do you think Sarah and Kim will do something?"

"Probably."

She's sure they will. She's noticed them watching her and Rachel more than usual that morning and she certainly didn't miss the malicious grins that appeared on their faces as she walked past them.

"But, they won't hurt you, will they?"

Quinn looks at Rachel and sees the worry etched clear across her face. Before she can reply, however, Santana spoke up.

"They can try," she says. "But ain't nobody gonna get away with messing with the captain."

It's weird how Santana had started to ease up on Quinn. Quinn is pretty sure Brittany has something to do with it but in the end she doesn't care. It's nice to have Santana on her side instead of working against her but she can hold her own. She gives Santana a smile and Rachel beams. At least Rachel's excited about this new turn of events.

* * *

Quinn's instinct wasn't wrong. She's on top of the pyramid, ready to jump and land safely in the arms of her team members, when the feeling hits again. It was quite possibly the worst timing ever because not a second later she's tossed into the air. She steels her jaw and wants to get it over with. Forcing herself to stay calm she watches as the ground closes in on her. Quinn can hear Santana shout something before she lands on the grass and things turn black.

* * *

When she opens her eyes it takes a few moments until she becomes aware of her surroundings. She's in a hospital room, all dreary white and smelling of disinfectants with lights that are far too bright shining down upon her. The second thing she notices is a man, standing at the foot of her bed. She blinks but the fuzziness won't disappear and she figures she's on some strong painkillers. She blinks again and the man is standing next to her now. He has blond hair and clear blue eyes. She squints at him, he looks vaguely familiar but she can't quite place him. "Who are you?" she croaks, her throat dry from disuse.

The man sneers down at her and holds up a syringe. He leans over her and it hits her like a ton of bricks: Russell Fabray. She whimpers and scans the room for something she could use to defend herself from him when she hears him laugh above her.

"You're weak as a kitten, Lucy," he says as he empties the syringe into the IV line. "I've waited years to finish this. I almost feel like this was too easy," he continues conversationally.

Quinn struggles but she's too drowsy to do anything and she knows it. "Goodbye, Lucille."

* * *

"Quinn?"

"Quinn, can you hear me?"

She groans and opens her eyes, blinking against the harsh light. "What?" she whispers before she clears her throat.

"Quinn!"

Suddenly a warm weight settles on her torso and she struggles briefly before she recognises the brown hair that landed on her face. The smell of vanilla and coconut invades her sense and she sighs in relief. "Rachel?"

"Oh god, Quinn! How are you feeling? Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

She chuckles before it turns into a cough. "'m okay."

Rachel sits up and looks down at Quinn. "I'm so glad you're okay," she says as she carefully places her palm on Quinn's cheek. "You've had me worried sick." She reaches over and takes a sippy cup from the bedside table. Quinn gratefully accepts it and takes a few sips before handing it back.

"What happened?" Quinn asks, her voice still raspy.

"You don't remember?"

"Not really..."

Images of her father float through her mind but she ignores them and focuses on Rachel.

"Well, Santana told me that they failed to catch you and you fell from the top of the pyramid to the ground. She saw it happen but there wasn't anything she could do, she suspects Kim and Sarah are behind it... Quinn, y-you could have died."

"Rach, I'm okay. I think."

She takes Rachel's hand in her own and brings it up to kiss her knuckles.

"You, you broke your right leg. They had to use pins to settle the break, Santana's father works here and s-she said there was a bone sticking through your skin."

Quinn swallows and experimentally moves her right leg. She winces and decides to never do that again. "Okay."

"A-and you have a minor concussion. Doctor Lopez said you got off easy, considering the fall you took."

"Lucky me," Quinn replies with a small smile.

"Quinn, you were out for three days. I was so worried about you."

Rachel's bottom lip begins to tremble and Quinn pulls on Rachel's hand, willing her to lie down next to her. Rachel hesitates but eventually gives in and snuggles into Quinn's side, wrapping her into a koala bear hug.

"Rachel?" she asks after a while, unable to get her father out of her head.

"Hm?"

"Did anyone else come in here?"

"Just your mom, Santana, Brittany and me. Why?" She lifts her head off of Quinn's shoulder and frowns at her.

"No reason."

"Quinn."

"I had a strange dream, that's all," she says, adding a smile to reassure Rachel.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"O-okay. Just, I'm here if you need me."

"I know, Rachel. I know. Thank you."

Rachel stays with her until she falls back asleep. Once the warmth of Rachel's body disappears she shivers and spends the night dreaming of Russell Fabray.

* * *

She's released from the hospital two days later. Her right leg is in a blue cast that comes up to mid-thigh and she moves around on crutches until Gwendolyn forces her to rest and insists on doting on her.

Rachel is by her side almost all the time and Santana and Brittany stopped by twice. After a week at home she decides that she needs to get out and gets Gwendolyn to drive her to school with the promise of calling her when the pain gets too bad.

Everyone is staring at her when she makes her way to her locker and she bites her tongue to keep herself from beating them all with her crutches. The constant pain in her leg is making her crabby and not so pleasant to be around.

"Hey, you."

"Rachel," she breathes with a relieved sigh. Her kryptonite. Her girlfriend.

"How are you doing?"

Quinn shrugs. "I get to wear sweats to school for a change so I can't complain."

Rachel rolls her eyes at her girlfriend and purses her lips. "Kim and Sarah got expelled, for two weeks. They will also have to community service for three months."

"Sounds fair." Quinn doesn't care; she'd find her own to get back at them. It would be easier if she had the use of both of her legs but she would deal. She was nothing if not resilient.

"Fair? Quinn, you could have died!"

"I know, but I didn't. I'm perfectly fine except for a little booboo on my leg."

" _Quinn!_ "

"Relax, Rach," she says as she places her crutches against the row of lockers and wraps her arms around Rachel's shoulders, pulling her flush against her body. Rachel huffs but returns the embrace.

"You're horrible," Rachel mutters against Quinn's collarbone.

Quinn hums in agreement and Rachel merely burrows closer to her until the bell rings and they have to hurry to make it to the biology lab.

Later that day Brittany pulls out a black sharpie and, with Quinn's blessing, begins to doodle on the cast. By the end of the day it's full of little drawings of baby animals and mythical creatures and Rachel's adorable handwriting. When she gets home Gwendolyn helps her up to her room and gets her settled on her bed.

"I'll bring you your dinner, you need to rest," the older woman says sternly. Quinn's face is paler than normal and she looks like she's in pain. "I'll be back."

The door closes and Quinn sighs loudly. The cast would be on for another six weeks, at the least, so that meant she couldn't get out and kill in the near future. She was already feeling restless because of the hallucination involving Russell and she'd get no relief until the cast was gone. She grabbed her laptop from the bedside table, figuring she could spend her time by planning a way to get Kim and Sarah back for what they'd done to her.

After a few hours she had come up with a perfect plan. She couldn't go as far as killing them, however much she wanted to, but it would definitely leave them scarred for life. Quinn was satisfied with her work and logged on to Skype, smiling when Rachel's face appeared on video chat.

"Hey, Superstar."

"Hey yourself. You look happy."

Quinn nods. "I am. Must be from seeing your beautiful face." She's inwardly rolling her eyes at her cheesiness and she can't help but smile when Rachel actually rolls her eyes.

"Flattery will get you everywhere, Fabray."

"Yeah? Everywhere?" she asks with a raised eyebrow.

She can see a blush creeping up Rachel's face and she chuckles lightly, causing Rachel to pout adorably.

"Anyway," Rachel continues, much to Quinn's amusement. Rachel begins to talk about glee club and Quinn relaxes into her pillows, content to just listen to her bubbly girlfriend rattle on and on.

* * *

Maybe she went a little overboard; Quinn thinks. On the other hand, her broken leg was a real hassle and they deserved it.

Rachel knew she did it. Of course she did, Quinn was no longer a complete mystery to the other girl now that they spent most of their time together.

"Quinn, why did you do it?" Rachel asks from her position at the foot of Quinn's bed.

"Do what?" She receives an exasperated sigh and a glare and she shrugs. "They had it coming."

"Look, I'm not against a bit of payback, but... what you did was..."

Rachel doesn't finish her sentence, and Quinn doesn't need her to because she knows what Rachel's thinking. This is the side that Quinn desperately tries to hide from Rachel because it's ugly and vicious and inhuman. Personally, Quinn thinks that she held back but Rachel doesn't know what she's capable of so she certainly doesn't see it that way.

"Rachel," Quinn starts but she doesn't know how to continue. Rachel looks at her with a look she can't quite describe and somewhere deep down Quinn knows she made a huge mistake.

"I-I know that, I mean, I've noticed some things a-and I'm sure there's reasons for you being, um, being the way you are but, Quinn, I don't know how to-to deal with this."

Quinn knows what's happening and she doesn't know how to stop it. She wonders what Rachel sees now, when she looks at her. Does she see her girlfriend or does she see some monster, capable of god knows what? She was just messing around, to get back at them for hurting her, but she shouldn't have killed the girls' pets. She doesn't feel bad about the fact that she did it, she feels bad because Rachel found out it was her.

"I'm sorry," she says, trying to sound as sincere as possible.

Rachel's eyes are teary and her lower lip is trembling but she isn't crying. "You're lying."

Since when was Rachel able to see right through her? Quinn feels everything crumbling around her, the mask she constructed in order to be the girlfriend Rachel deserved, and she clenches her fists.

"What do you want me to say?" she asks, slightly desperate.

"Why? Why would you do such a thing?"

Quinn looks down at her hands, unable to take the disgust in Rachel's eyes. "I don't know," she answers softly.

"You don't know? You – Quinn, how could you?" Rachel's voice is loud and angry and it's all slipping away.

"Rachel, please don't... I never meant for you to find out, I'm... I'm so sorry." She doesn't cry, she hasn't cried in years, but she feels wrong. If she loses Rachel then she'll lose that tiny bit of humanity that she's gained over the months. She doesn't want to lose it, not now that she knows what it feels like. "Please," she adds.

"You need help," Rachel replies as she stands.

Quinn has heard that before. She nods, still avoiding Rachel's eyes.

Pathetic. She's being pathetic. She was fine before Rachel came into her life, she'll be fine once she's gone. The demon on her right shoulder is laughing, having a field day with how shocked Rachel is.

She slowly lifts her chin and looks at Rachel. Tears are sliding down the other girl's face and Quinn hates herself. She hates her father. Rage is becoming the predominant emotion and she just wants to lose control, but she can't with Rachel around. Rachel must have noticed the darkness in Quinn's eyes because she winces when their eyes meet.

"Quinn..."

She's gotten good at walking on her broken leg, it's healing well and other than the initial sting when she puts her foot down it doesn't hurt. She lifts herself off of her bed and walks over to where Rachel is standing. Rachel takes a step back when she's too close and it feels like a stab to the heart.

"You're scared of me?"

Rachel wipes at the tears that won't stop running down her face and she glances at Quinn. "Should I be?" she asks in a quiet voice, unsure of how Quinn changed from her wonderful girlfriend into this version.

"I would never hurt you, Rachel," Quinn replies. She wants to move closer to Rachel but it hurt when Rachel backed away so she stands still. "If I explain, will you listen?"

"I-I don't know if I can," Rachel answers shakily. She's standing with her back against the wall, eyeing Quinn warily.

Quinn nods and crosses her arms over her chest. "Okay."

They stand in silence, watching each other, until Rachel speaks up. "I need some time."

Quinn stays silent.

"I-I'll call you when I'm ready to talk."

Rachel doesn't wait for a reply before she leaves so Quinn doesn't bother giving one to a closed door.


	7. Damaged

The cast is gone but she has to wear a brace for a while still. There's a large scar on the side of her leg and she finds herself staring at the faded red skin. Rachel hasn't contacted her in two weeks. Quinn has stopped expecting her to call now, not that she had high hopes to begin with. She avoids Rachel in school and hasn't attended a glee club meeting since the 'incident'.

Gwendolyn enters the living room and hands her a bowl of ice-cream.

"Ice-cream and heartbreaks go hand-in-hand," she says as she sits next to Quinn on the sofa. The TV is on but Quinn hadn't been watching anything, it merely served as background noise. She doesn't even know what's on until she looks up. CSI:NY. She rolls her eyes and focuses on her ice-cream.

"I'm not heartbroken," she mumbles stubbornly. She probably doesn't even have a heart so how could it break?

"Sweetheart, you've been moping around the house for two weeks. I know you don't want to talk, but if you feel so inclined, know that I'm here for you."

Quinn hums in response. Gwendolyn gives her a sad smile and gets up, patting Quinn's uninjured knee before heading back into her home office. Gwendolyn is an architect with her own company so she sometimes works from home though she's out of the house on most days. Quinn figures she stayed home to keep her company and she's part grateful, part annoyed.

The doorbell rings and she frowns, not expecting anyone. She watches as Gwendolyn walks past the living room, shooting her a smile, before she disappears in the entrance hall. Quinn figures Gwendolyn will deal with whoever it is and she stares at the TV screen.

"Quinn?"

She turns her head and finds herself looking at Rachel. "Rachel?" she asks, her voice cracking slightly before she clears her throat. She's suddenly very conscious of her shorts and her short-sleeved shirt, unable to cover up the scars marring her skin. There is nothing within reach to cover herself with so she resigns herself with a shaky sigh.

Slowly, Rachel walks closer towards her. Quinn can see her eyes widen and she stops walking, taking in the sight of her girlfriend.

"Quinn, what...?"

"We need to talk," Quinn says. Rachel nods and they decided to head upstairs, to Quinn's room.

They sit at the edge of her bed, leaving plenty of space between them. Neither is anxious to actually start the talk so they sit in an uncomfortable silence.

Rachel shifts and moves closer to Quinn. She finds herself holding her breath as she watches Rachel's eyes move down to her arms. She stops herself from moving and lets it happen. If things were to ever get serious between them, she'd have to do this eventually, and she wants to let Rachel know that she's in this relationship one-hundred percent.

"Rachel," she says, unsure of what's happening.

"God, Quinn," Rachel utters, her eyes focused on Quinn's now. Quinn clenches her jaw and bites her lower lip, Rachel's stare making her feel slightly uncomfortable. Slowly, Rachel reaches out a shaky hand and puts it on Quinn's lower arm.

She trails Quinn's scars with the tips of her fingers, marvelling at the sheer amount of faded white lines dotting the blonde's arms. Quinn watches her in silence, trying to gauge Rachel's reaction. She never  _let_  anyone see those reminders of her past; of course Gwendolyn knows but she's been very careful.

She shivers lightly when Rachel's fingers dip below the hem of her shirt. "Can I?"

Quinn takes a deep breath and nods. Slowly, she feels Rachel lift the fabric up her stomach, over her chest and over her head. She lifts her arms and allows the smaller girl to remove the shirt completely.

"Quinn," Rachel gasps silently as she takes in her girlfriend's bra-clad torso. More scars litter her body, most of them near her sternum and there's one long gash leading from her right side down to her hipbone. Her father really did a number on her with that tiny little knife.

Quinn feels uncomfortable and winces when she looks at Rachel.

"What happened to you, Quinn?"

"I'm not sure you want to know," Quinn mutters glumly.

Rachel starts to trace the large scar on her side and she takes a breath, inhaling through her nose. She expected to be completely numb to whatever feeling showing Rachel her scars would give but instead she's terrified. Rachel looks at her and cups her face with her hands. "Quinn."

"Promise you won't leave me?" Her voice trembles slightly and she hates herself for showing this kind of weakness but she  _trusts_  Rachel implicitly.

"Of course I'm not going to leave you, why would I?"

"Because I don't know how you'll react to what I'm about to tell you."

"I know we have to talk about what happened with Sarah and Kim and I shouldn't have waited this long to talk to you. I-I was just... You're the nicest, sweetest girlfriend and I didn't know how to deal with this, this other side of you, it scared me but, but I realised that I believe you when you say you'd never hurt me and I trust you. I trust you, Quinn. I know there's an explanation for this and I want to know, I want to know everything about you because-because I really care about you."

Quinn doesn't know what to say and she's shocked to feel a tear slide down her cheek. Rachel notices her bewildered expression and she moves her thumb to gently wipe the drop of clear liquid away.

"It's okay," Rachel says softly. "It's okay, baby," she repeats before gently pressing her lips against Quinn's in a soft kiss. She pulls back and smiles softly. "Tell me what happened?"

Quinn nods weakly and gets up. She picks up her shirt, puts it on and pads over to her desk to retrieve her MacBook, taking it with her. She sits down and rests her back against the headboard, motioning for Rachel to join her. She opens a search engine and quickly types in a few words before hitting enter. Rachel watches attentively and leans closer to Quinn in order to read the screen.

' _ **Mother and child murdered, father escapes and leaves behind heavily wounded 4-year old daughter.**_

_30-year old Columbus resident Russell Fabray is wanted for the murder of his wife, Judy Fabray, and 10-year old daughter Francine Fabray. The police arrived at the scene of the crime to find 4-year old Lucille Fabray heavily wounded and in need of medical assistance. So far the police are unwilling to issue a press statement.'_

Quinn is chewing her lower lip as she watches Rachel's eyes dart across the screen. She swallows nervously and plays with a piece of string on her duvet until Rachel sits back, blinking dazedly at Quinn. "Lucille?"

"My full name is Lucille Quinn Fabray."

"Oh my god," Rachel breathes out. "Tha-that's how you got these scars?"

"My father, yeah."

She can see Rachel's eyes shining with unshed tears and takes a shaky breath. "I wanted to tell you the truth but, I know it's a lot to take..."

Rachel blinks a couple of times and a couple of tears finally make it down her cheeks. She calmly takes the laptop from Quinn and puts it on the bedside table next to her, and then she moves closer to Quinn and gently wraps her arms around the blonde girl. "I'm not going anywhere," she mumbles into the fabric of Quinn's shirt and tightens her grip.

They remain silent for a while until Rachel lifts her head, resting her chin on Quinn's shoulder, and looks up at Quinn. "What happened?"

"Rachel..."

"I want to know."

Quinn sighs and looks into Rachel's eyes; she believes Rachel when she says she wants to know but she isn't entirely sure she would be able to handle knowing what happened to her. "Okay," Quinn says quietly. Only one way to find out, she thinks.

"I remember it was late at night and Frannie was reading me a bedtime story when my mom came in to my room and told us to hide when my dad broke down the door with an axe. I don't remember everything but, uh, my mom tried to stop him and he killed her, with the axe."

Rachel gasps but is otherwise silent so Quinn continues.

"He came over to us and Frannie stood in front of me, to protect me, I guess. He killed her as well. I remember the screams and the blood; it wasn't just one blow like with my mom... I hid underneath my bed. He kept trying to get me to come out, promising we'd go for ice-cream and, um, I just wanted my mom, you know?"

It's the first time she's told this to anyone. Sure, Detective Rogers had asked her but she remembers more now than she did back then. It makes her insides crawl and she feels like throwing up but she keep talking. "He got to me, pulled me from underneath the bed and started, just, slashing me with this knife. I could hear police sirens coming closer, I guess he could, too, and he ran before they got to our house. I crawled over to my mom and, um, I don't think I understood that she was dead; I lay down beside her and hugged her until the police came. I passed out after that."

She looks at Rachel and sees tear tracks on her cheeks. "I lived with the detective who found me, Chris Rogers, for five years. He got shot and I ended up with Gwen after a few months in a home."

Rachel stays silent and it's starting to unnerve Quinn. "Rach? Say something, please?"

She feels Rachel's arms tighten around her and she feels feather light touches along her arms, over her scars. "You've been through all that," Rachel whispers. "And still you're this wonderful person, Quinn."

"I'm not," Quinn murmurs. She's a killer, there's nothing wonderful about her.

"But you are," Rachel insists and she sits up and moves so that she's on her knees next to Quinn. "I don't know how you survived that. I certainly couldn't."

Quinn shrugs. "What other choice do I have?" She thinks that suicide would be a possible alternative but why would she? Nothing has emotionally affected her since that night, until Rachel came into her life anyway. The other kids at the home called her a creep because of her scars and her apathy so she adjusted, came up with a mask that she hasn't taken off since, except for when she kills.

"You're the bravest person I know," Rachel says softly and she places her palm against Quinn's cheek.

Quinn doesn't know what to say to that, other than denying it, so she settles on grabbing the front of Rachel's shirt and pulling her closer, forcing Rachel to straddle Quinn's thighs in order to keep her balance. She's done talking about this and she's done hearing Rachel praise her; she arches up and claims Rachel's lips with her own, sneaking her free hand behind Rachel's neck to keep her close.

"Quinn," Rachel whimpers in between kisses and Quinn feels Rachel press herself closer to her.

Things are rapidly heating up and it's only when Rachel tries to liberate her of her t-shirt again that she manages to put some space in between them. "Rachel, I-I'm not, I can't..."

"It's okay," Rachel says with an understanding smile. She shifts to the space next to Quinn, instead of on top of her, and squirms until she's comfortable. She grasps Quinn's right hand in her own and starts playing with her fingers. Quinn can tell she's thinking and she waits until Rachel's ready to say whatever it is that she wants to say.

"What happened, to you, is that – is that why you..." Rachel sighs exasperatedly when she isn't able to find the right words to ask this question.

"Yeah," Quinn says, getting the gist of it. "I think so, anyway."

Rachel's lips form a silent 'oh'.

"When I was younger Chris made me see several psychologists but it-it never got better."

"What didn't get better?"

Quinn shakes her head and seconds later she feels Rachel tug on her arm. She lets Rachel guide her until she's laying half on top of the smaller girl, her head resting against Rachel's chest. Rachel runs her hand through Quinn's short hair and she feels herself relax almost instantly.

She takes a breath and grips Rachel's shirt in her hand. "I don't – they, they diagnosed me with either psychopathy or sociopathy and they tried to  _fix_  me with all sorts of drugs. I never took them for too long because I didn't like the way they made me feel so, I, um, yeah."

She listens to the steady beat of Rachel's heart underneath her ear and waits for her to speak. The longer Rachel remains silent the more she steels herself for the inevitable rejection.

"I don't really know what to say, Quinn."

"I know. Just, just hold me? For a little while? I understand that you'd rather not be around me and I'll respect it, I promise. Please?"

"Look at me," Rachel says sternly.

Quinn frowns and lifts her head slightly, just enough for her to see Rachel's eyes. The hand in her hair moves down to cup her cheek and she exhales slowly.

"It's a lot to take but I don't plan on leaving again. Do you believe me?"

She doesn't and Rachel can tell from her absent answer.

"I'll make you believe me, then. You're worth fighting for but you have to be honest with me, okay?"

"I'm not sure you want me to be honest," she replies quietly, once again avoiding eye contact.

Rachel sighs and lets Quinn resume her spot on her chest. "I want to know."

"Then ask me what you want to know, Rachel."

"O-okay." She feels Rachel take a breath. "Have you k-killed other animals?"

"Yes."

Quinn tightens her grip around Rachel's waist, holding her close.

"Why?"

"I don't know. I get this feeling and it just, it makes me calm, I guess. I'm not sure how to explain."

"Just animals?"

There's no reply and she feels Rachel stiffen underneath her. Quinn clenches her jaw and squeezes her eyes shut.

"Q-Quinn?"

"No."

"You-you've killed  _people_?"

"They're criminals, not people."

Rachel's moving away from her now. She lets go and sits back, watching the smaller girl stand up.

"I – oh my God." Rachel shivers visibly and Quinn feels sick.

"They were bad people, Rachel," she forces herself to say, her voice calm and steady – very much unlike how she feels. "People who somehow escaped the law but don't deserve to live."

"I'm going to be sick," Rachel mutters before she runs, disappearing into Quinn's bathroom.

Quinn feels completely numb. Her nails are digging into her palm and she feels herself tremble slightly. Through her daze she can hear a toilet flush but everything sounds as if she has cotton in her ears and she feels disoriented. It's been a while since she felt like this, she used to have panic attacks a lot when she was little but she thought she was done with those.

She crawls to the floor and curls up into a ball, holding her knees to her chest, rocking from side to side trying to regain control.

* * *

She feels like she's been hit by a truck when she opens her eyes. Her head hurts and she groans, rolling over. It's then that she remembers what happened. She's lying on the floor but somehow a pillow and a quilt made their way onto the floor with her. She buries her face into the soft pillow and decides to stay there for the rest of her life.

"Hey."

She bolts up into a sitting position and she sees Rachel sitting against the headboard of her bed, watching her closely.

"Rachel," Quinn breathes, completely surprised by the smaller girl's presence.

"I was worried about you."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to – I used to get panic attacks but I hadn't had one for years so..."

Rachel moves and takes a glass from the bedside table. "I got you a glass of water and some aspirin." She hands the glass to Quinn and holds out the aspirin. Quinn thanks her and pops the pill into her mouth before downing the glass and putting it on the floor.

"You don't have to stay," she says softly.

"I didn't want to leave you alone. I-I went to find Gwendolyn but there's a note on the fridge saying she'll be gone all night and I didn't know what to do."

"I'm sorry, Rachel."

Rachel looks at her, her eyes boring into Quinn's. When she looks away after a few minutes she clears her throat. "I asked you to be honest with me and you were."

"Yeah."

"I don't know what to do," Rachel admits.

"Whatever feels right. I promise that, if you want me to, I'll never contact you again."

It hurts, of course it hurts, but she ignores her own feelings in favour of putting Rachel at ease. She didn't know how because this was unprecedented. Chris knew she had killed a dog but that was it, Rachel knows everything now and she has Quinn's fate in her hands. More than that, she has Quinn's heart in her hands.

"I don't – I don't want that. I know, god, I know I shouldn't want to be with you but I do."

Quinn briefly thinks about telling Rachel to stay away from her but she can't. "I need you, Rachel." It comes out as a whisper but she knows Rachel heard her by the faint gasp she expelled.

"May I ask you a question?"

Quinn wants to joke about how formal Rachel sounds but instead she agrees, silently steeling herself for whatever Rachel is about to throw at her.

"Are you – do you feel things? Are you capable of loving?"

She's glad she still sitting on the floor and not on the bed when Rachel asks the question. This whole evening has been about her making herself vulnerable and opening up to Rachel and this question will potentially strip away her last bit of armour.

"I do feel things. I haven't  _loved_ anyone, yet. Maybe it's because I can't, maybe there's a different reason. I don't know."

"What about Gwendolyn?"

"I respect her, and I like her, but I don't love her."

"Wh-what about me?"

Quinn takes a breath. "I don't know how loving someone is supposed to feel but I feel like I could love you."

"How do you feel about me?"

"I, um, I feel like I want to be with you, all the time. I want to make you happy and see you smile. I want to protect you against the world, make sure you never get hurt. When-when I look at you I feel like, maybe I'm not a soulless monster; like there must be something good about me otherwise you wouldn't want to be around me..."

She's met with complete silence and she feels like whatever Rachel will do next will either make her, or break her. There's a sound of movement and then Rachel is lowering herself to the ground in front of Quinn. She has the same watery brown eyes that Quinn has come to known well over the past few hours but there's a faint smile playing on her lips and it gives Quinn hope that it's not over yet.

"You're not a soulless monster," Rachel starts off, her voice clear and strong. "I want you to stop saying that, okay? I-I love you, Quinn. I've never felt this way about anyone before and I'm sure it's love. I'm-I'm so in love with you... and this, this darkness, it's not going to scare me away. Okay?"

Quinn nods, eyes wide and unblinking, unsure of what is happening. Rachel gets up on her knees and moves forward so that she can straddle Quinn's thighs, careful not to hurt her injured leg. She wraps her arms around Quinn's neck and leans in close, their noses barely touching.

"I don't know how I'm supposed to react to all this and maybe I'm crazy for wanting you this much, but I won't let you go. I  _can't_." Rachel pushes her lips against Quinn's and kisses her languidly. Quinn's hands come to rest on Rachel's thighs and she nips at Rachel's bottom lip, smiling into the kiss when Rachel yelps softly.

* * *

"Stay the night?" Quinn asks later, when they're just lying in bed and enjoying each other's presence. They both agreed that they weren't done talking about this but they discussed the major points and they'd deal with the rest as they went along, together. Quinn is resting her head against Rachel's chest and listening to her heart beat, thinking that she'll never tire of hearing the comforting sound. Her hand is resting on Rachel's stomach and she's lazily tracing shapes with her fingers, smiling contently.

Rachel is running her hand through Quinn's messy, short hair and she hums in response. "I need to call my dads to let them know where I am but I'm sure it won't be an issue."

"Good. I don't think I'm ready to let you leave just yet," Quinn mumbles and she places a kiss against Rachel's collarbone.

A little while later their peaceful moment is broken by Quinn's growling stomach and they decide that it's a good time to get up. Quinn is waiting for Rachel to join her by the door when the smaller girl giggles softly and runs her hands through Quinn's hair. "You look like a lion."

"Rawr," Quinn deadpans and she opens the door. She gestures for Rachel to go first and follows her down the stairs. Quinn turns on the light in the hallway and together they make their way into the kitchen. She spots a bright yellow post-it on the fridge and grabs it.

"Gone on date, money on counter. Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Gwen x," Quinn reads out loud. "Well, what do you want for dinner, Superstar?"

"Pizza?"

"Sure, tell me what you want and I'll place the order."

Rachel grins at Quinn and walks over to the blonde, hips swaying seductively, until she comes to a halt a mere few inches from the taller girl. "I can think of one thing I definitely want," she purrs while trailing her hands up and down Quinn's sides.

"Really? What's that?"

"A vegan pizza."

Quinn chuckles at Rachel's cheeky smile and places a kiss on her forehead before calling Derek's Pizza Hub to order one veggie pizza and one bacon and cheese pizza.


	8. The Fear

Monday rolls around and Quinn picks up Rachel, having offered to drive them to school. Things have been going good between the two of them, much to Quinn's surprise and delight. There had been no more talks about Quinn's past or her extracurricular activities and she knows that Rachel has more questions and she'll answer them honestly but for now, it seems that they are just enjoying being together. There are barely any secrets between them and it's brought them immeasurably closer.

Quinn is back in her Cheerios uniform and heads turn and take in the ever-present brace on her knee. Rachel's rambling on about her upcoming history test on her right side so when the slushie hits Quinn, the smaller girl is shielded from the cold, icy drink by Quinn's body.

"Freak!"

She wipes away the blue sludge and sees Azimio smirk at her before he rounds the corner and disappears from view. She's furious and thinking about various ways in which to retaliate when a small hand grabs her wrist and pulls her into the nearest bathroom.

Rachel doesn't speak when she's gently wiping away the slush with a wad of paper towels and Quinn is desperately trying to calm herself down, her short nails digging into her palm as she clenches her fists by her side.

The sound of a chair being moved breaks her out of her rage-filled haze and she sits down, surprised when Rachel positions herself astride her thighs in order to get the bits and pieces from her hair. The feeling of Rachel's fingers gently running through her hair makes her close her eyes and forget about wanting to gut Azimio.

When the movements stop she opens her eyes and finds Rachel regarding her curiously.

"What?" she asks. "Do I have something on my face?"

It makes Rachel chuckle and she feels her lips quirk upwards until Rachel's expression turns serious. "Okay, out with it, Rach. I can tell there's something on your mind."

"I don't quite know how to ask this so I'm-I'm just going to do it. When Azimio – when he left, you had this  _look_  in your eyes..."

Quinn raises an eyebrow and silently urges Rachel to continue.

"Is it – well, did you – what were you thinking?"

"What was I thinking?" Rachel nods and she shrugs. "I wanted to hurt him."

Rachel's fiddling with Quinn's cross necklace and hesitantly looks at her. "Would you have? Hurt him, I mean. If I hadn't stopped you?"

"Is that what you did?" Quinn asks, when realisation dawns on her. "You thought I was going to go after him and, what, kill him right there?"

"N-no?"

Quinn sighs and reaches out to touch Rachel's jaw, forcing the girl to look at her while she speaks. "He's a jerk, yeah, but it doesn't work like that. Sadly, slushying people is not a crime."

"Oh," Rachel replies. "I feel quite silly now."

"You can ask me these things; I will always answer you as honestly as I can."

"I do have some questions I'd like to ask but not here, okay?"

"Sure," Quinn answers. She means it when she says she'll be honest and that Rachel can ask her things but that doesn't mean she's looking forward to it. Rachel gives her a quick peck on the lips and gets up. Quinn follows her and checks if her uniform isn't too badly stained before taking Rachel's hand and offering to walk her to class.

* * *

That night, Quinn stays over at Rachel's. Her fathers, who Rachel assures her are the best dads in the world, are once again nowhere to be found and she doesn't feel like being alone. Quinn, being the good girlfriend that she is, doesn't hesitate to say yes.

Empty take-out cartons are strewn all over the coffee table while the girls are cuddling on the couch. The TV is on and but they prefer to utilise this time alone by making out when an extra news report interrupts Real Housewives of Reno.

"... The body of Judy Tomlin was found dumped on the banks of the Ottawa River. A local fisherman discovered the body early this morning. The Lima PD refuses to comment at this time."

Quinn stopped their heated kissing as soon as she heard the woman's name. It could be nothing, it's entirely possible that it's a coincidence, but she feels the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end and she can't shake the feeling of something being wrong.

"Are you okay?" Rachel asks when she realises that Quinn isn't going to move.

"Hm? Oh, yeah. Fine," she mutters absentmindedly. No longer interested in making out, she sits up and stares at TV screen. Rachel regards her curiously and then looks at the screen to try and find out what has got her girlfriend so on edge.

"So, I-I was wondering if I could ask you something?"

"Yeah, sure," Quinn replies distractedly.

"Have you tried not killing people?" Rachel's tone is conversational and Quinn thinks it's slightly absurd, how her peace-loving girlfriend can talk about this so easily. Then again, she is a pretty good actress.

"Yes. When I was at the home and for a while, when I first started living with Gwen."

"Does that mean you don't  _have_  to kill?"

Quinn shifts slightly so that she's facing Rachel. "It's – when I wait too long there's this, this uncontrollable need, I guess you could say, and bad things tend to happen when I can't control it."

"Did – did you hurt someone? When you were at the home?"

She bites her lower lip and her eyes drift from Rachel's face to a spot to her right. She's generally okay with who – what – she is but there are a few things that she's forced to live with that made a piece of her die. "I, um, I'd rather not talk about it. Not right now."

"O-okay. I'm sorry."

Quinn offers her a small smile and she shrugs. She's sure she'll have to relive one of her lowest moments in her sleep that night and she's thinking of asking Rachel for something to help her sleep, something that'll knock her out.

"Quinn?"

"Hmm?"

"How do you decide who to kill?"

"I look through police files, mostly. I picked up a few things from living with Chris, he didn't know but it helped a lot. I didn't want to kill innocent people, you know? So I look for the ones who slipped through the cracks in the system. I do my research and get everything prepared and then I get them."

"But, if they slipped through the cracks then – then how do you know they're really guilty?"

"I – it's – I can just tell. I know it sounds stupid but, there's something about murderers, a darkness, and I recognise it in them."

"You can tell? That's how you decide? Quinn..."

"Remember Sandy Ryerson?" She waits until Rachel nods, hesitantly, before she continues. "No one ever pressed charges against him but I know what he was doing; selling drugs to minors and taking advantage of them. He especially liked young boys. I know he was after Kurt. If I hadn't disposed of him, he would still be out there doing whatever he wanted because there was no evidence of his fucked up crimes." Her voice has risen by the end of her sentence and she shakes her head lightly. "I know what I'm doing, okay? I trust my instincts more than anything and they haven't led me astray yet. They  _won't_."

Rachel is watching her with wide eyes and she can see the fear in them clearly. She clenches her jaw and what she wants more than anything is to flee, but she forces herself to stay seated, waiting in silence.

"I – I'm sorry, this is just... It's not easy."

"Is it too much?"

It takes a while for Rachel to answer and Quinn doesn't need to guess what her answer will be.

"It's okay, Rachel. I get it." She manages a miniscule smile before she gets up off the couch. Before she walks away she is stopped by Rachel's hand holding on to her wrist, keeping her in place. She waits and Rachel gets up as well. Her eyes are shimmering with unshed tears and Quinn waits until one escapes, wiping it away with the pad of her thumb.

"I love you, I really do, Quinn," Rachel says, her voice thick with tears. "But I – I can't."

"I know."

Quinn finds herself wrapped in Rachel's arms and savours the contact. She isn't surprised when Rachel kisses her, hard, and she doesn't deny the smaller girl anything. If this is to be their last moment, she wants to make it memorable.

"Stay here tonight," Rachel murmurs between kisses, not relinquishing her tight hold on Quinn.

Pulling back, Quinn looks at Rachel. "Are you sure?" she asks, searching the depths of Rachel's expressive eyes.

"Please."

"Okay."

* * *

Quinn wakes up and finds a sleeping Rachel nestled half on top of her. She doesn't feel bad about what happened but, in hindsight, it probably wasn't the best course of action to take. She was well aware that Rachel had once mentioned that she planned to keep her virginity intact until she was 25 and she was perfectly okay with going slow. She can't help but feel guilty even though Rachel had insisted that she wanted this, she wanted Quinn.

Getting out of bed without waking Rachel seems impossible so she lies back, shifting a little to make herself more comfortable. She rests her hands on Rachel's bare back and gently starts running her fingers up and down her vertebrae, revelling in the smoothness of the other girl's skin.

She's almost lulled back to sleep when Rachel sighs and her eyes flutter open.

"Hey," Quinn says softly, stilling her hands on Rachel's back.

For a second she thinks Rachel is going to run, judging by the panicked look on her face, but eventually she rolls onto the mattress and apologises for 'squashing' Quinn.

"Are you okay?" she asks, not sure how to react to Rachel.

"I'm fine," Rachel replies politely. She wraps the sheets around her more securely and refuses to look at Quinn, who was sitting up now that Rachel was no longer holding her down.

"Do you regret what happened?"

"No," comes the silent reply. "I just – I don't know what I'm doing anymore."

"You need some time away from me, Rachel. And it's okay, it doesn't mean you don't love me, I got that last night," she says, earning a chuckle from Rachel. "It doesn't mean I don't love you, either. Sometimes... sometimes things just don't work out."

"I want it to work, so much, though."

"Me too, Superstar. Me too."

Quinn takes a breath and gets up, searching the floor for her clothes. She doesn't care about modesty, she's proud of her body and the way Rachel reacts to her. When she's dressed she looks at Rachel, who has put on a pair of shorts and a shirt Quinn is pretty sure she stole from her, and opens her arms. Rachel walks into the hug and clings to her.

"I'll always be here for you, if you need me," she whispers before placing one last kiss on the smaller girl's forehead before untangling herself from Rachel. "See you later, alligator."

Rachel laughs at that and she returns a smile before turning around and walking out of the room. She's out the door and on her way home, unsure of what she's feeling. It's something akin to numbness but it's simultaneously ripping her apart from the inside out.

* * *

A few days after the news of Judy Tomlin's death there is another body found in the same area. This time the victim is a Francine Grace Stafford and she knows it's not a coincidence. When the police reports are released she feels an icy feeling of dread; the causes of death for each victim matches the way her mother and sister were murdered. Russell Fabray is back and she knows he's coming after her next.

She decided to quit the Cheerios, despite the fact that no one was trying to dethrone her anymore. Sarah and Kim were no longer on the team, having transferred schools after the 'accident' and finding their pets murdered. If they knew it was Quinn, neither of them said anything. She supposes her warning did the job. Santana and Brittany try to persuade her but it's pointless; she's done.

Glee club was next on her list but she can't do it. If she quits they'll be one person short for Nationals and she doesn't want to ruin Rachel's chances at winning. Even if it means forcing herself to stay as far away from her former girlfriend as possible. She watches from the back how Rachel relentlessly badgers Mr. Schuester to get a set list and to start working on some choreography, and when someone dares to disagree with Rachel, Quinn is the first one to shoot them down with an icy glare.

There will be no killing until her father is taken care of but she hasn't the faintest idea of how to take care of him. She may be a ruthless killer but her father makes her shiver in fear.

It becomes clear that Russell is watching her when she finds a bag on her doorstep after coming home from school one day. She looks around but she finds nothing out of the ordinary. Once inside she sets the bag down on the kitchen counter and opens it. Inside, there's a tub of Ben & Jerry's with a note on top. She takes the piece of paper out of the bag, ignoring the way her hands are shaking.

' _I never did get you that ice cream, did I?'_

The note flutters to the ground and Quinn grips the counter, taking shaky breaths while trying to steady herself. That's how Gwendolyn finds her after she gets home.

"Quinn, honey, are you okay?"

Quinn blinks a couple of times and she nods. "Fine," she says. She takes the bag with the ice cream still in it, picks up the note and dumps everything in the bin. She takes the garbage bag out and announces to Gwendolyn that she's taking out the trash.

She opens the back door and looks around before putting the bag in the trash can. She's about to head back inside when a car drives by, slowly. She swallows and feels her hair stand on end and she's certain it's her father but the windows are tinted and she can't see a thing. She compels herself to stand still until the car is out of sight and then she hurries inside, past a baffled Gwendolyn and up to her room.

Whatever Russell intends to do, she has to be cautious and focused if she intends to beat him in this sick game that he inadvertently started so many years ago.


	9. Waiting

There are bags the size of Belgium under her eyes. She's constantly looking for signs of Russell, expecting him to jump from behind a shrub or send her another pint of Ben & Jerry's but nothing happens.

She's falling asleep during classes and her grades are dropping but she can't force herself to care. Her need to be alert is becoming her undoing and if she doesn't get some rest she'll keel over before Russell even gets the chance.

"Quinn, hold up!"

It doesn't surprise her that Rachel is the one to confront her about her recent change in behaviour but she still closes her eyes for a moment before walking faster, hoping to outrun Rachel. It doesn't work and Rachel falls into step next to her.

"Quinn, I need to talk to you," she says, her tone of voice making it clear that there's no point in arguing.

"Sure." Quinn stops walking and leans a shoulder against the wall, looking at Rachel. "What's up?"

"What's up?  _What's up?!_ " Rachel repeats indignantly. "Have you looked in a mirror lately, Quinn?"

"Um, yes?"

"You're being deliberately obtuse and I can't say I'm enjoying it," she says with a huff. "I can tell that something is bothering you. You've been walking around like a zombie for days. I'm-I'm worried about you, okay? Tell me what's wrong?" Rachel mimics Quinn's pose, standing close to the taller girl, making it the closest they've been since the break-up.

"It's nothing you need to worry about, Rachel," Quinn replies. She can't get Rachel involved in this. If Russell should see her with Rachel, if he should discover what Rachel means to her... She can't risk Rachel's life.

"Why won't you tell me? I know we broke up but it doesn't change my feelings for you and I won't sit idly by and watch you deteriorate."

"Don't you think you're overreacting just a little bit? I'm not  _deteriorating_ , I just haven't been sleeping that well. I'm not kidding about this, Rachel. It's none of your business." She turns around and walks swiftly towards the cafeteria. If being a bitch will keep Rachel away from her, then that's what she'll be. She ignores the guilty feeling and focuses on her surroundings; not that she thinks Russell would be in a high school cafeteria. He's not that insane.

* * *

She has to spend the rest of the day actively avoiding Rachel. It makes her feel like an asshole but she keeps reminding herself that it's for the best. Until Rachel finally manages to corner her in the choir room. There's no one else in the room but the two of them and Quinn is about to leave, mumbling something about a forgotten book in her locker when Rachel moves in front of her and blocks the exit.

"What are you doing?" Rachel looks hurt and Quinn mentally kicks herself.

"What are you talking about?"

Rachel scoffs and crosses her arms over her chest. "Really? Okay. You know, you probably think you're so smart, right? Thinking that pushing me away and being mean to me is going to make me stop worrying about you, well, I'm afraid your devious plan has failed. Don't forget that  _I know you_ , Quinn. So, please, just, stop insulting my intelligence and tell me what's going on."

Quinn's shoulders slump lightly and she sighs wearily. Rachel has a point; of course she has a point. She's Rachel Barbra Berry.

"Take a seat."

They sit down on the uncomfortable chairs strewn around the room and Quinn takes a moment to gather her thoughts. She knows that if she tells Rachel everything then the other girl will want to help her out somehow and she won't allow it so she'll have to leave out certain details.

"When I was at the hospital, after I fell at practise, I woke up and my father was there. I just thought I was hallucinating when I woke up again and you were there instead. But then I heard about those two women, Judy and Francine, who were found dead and, um, something just didn't feel right. Rachel, I think he's back. No, I  _know_  he's back."

"Oh my god, Quinn."

"Yeah, so, I've been going crazy trying to, just, be ready for – I don't even know what I expect to happen but I just – I'm, I'm scared."

Of course, she thinks. Of course Rachel would pull her into a protective hug and whisper that she wouldn't let anyone hurt her. It's not like she's a scary serial killer or anything. She rolls her eyes at herself but allows herself to find comfort in Rachel's arms nevertheless. The warmth that's enveloping her is familiar and calming and she feels herself relax. She burrows closer to Rachel and rests her head on the other girl's shoulder before closing her eyes.

"You're so tired, baby," Rachel murmurs softly as she runs her fingers through Quinn's hair, knowing that it has a calming effect on her.

"'m okay," Quinn mumbles, already half-asleep. Rachel chuckles quietly and continues her gentle ministrations until Quinn's breathing is starting to even out.

"... and then I told her that the Puckasaurus doesn't do relationships and she was all –"

"Noah Puckerman, be quiet!" Rachel hisses, keeping an eye on Quinn, who had begun to stir at Puck's loud voice. Her eyes blink open and she's momentarily confused as to where she is until she remembers her talk with Rachel.

She moves out of Rachel's embrace and slumps back against her chair. Rachel shoots her a worried glance but she ignores it for the time being. Puck frowns at the two of them before mumbling something about 'chicks' and 'crazy PMSing' to Mike.

Quinn feels Rachel watch her throughout the hour and knows she won't get away from her now that she has proof of just how beat Quinn is.

"You're coming home with me," Rachel informs her as they file out of the choir room. Quinn wants to object, say she can take care of herself but she knows it futile and it would be a big fat lie so she lets Rachel pull her along to her car and she obediently gets in, happy to let Rachel take the reins for a while.

Once inside the Berry residence, Quinn encounters the Messrs. Berry and puts a little effort in being charming because, even though she's no longer Rachel's girlfriend, she thinks it best to stay in their good graces.

"We'll be in my room if you need me," Rachel announces to her fathers before heading up the stairs with Quinn in tow.

Rachel's bed feels heavenly and she groans appreciatively as she snuggles deeper into the soft mattress. Rachel smiles at her while she drapes her duvet over her and ruffles her hair. "You're so cute," she coos playfully.

"Yes, cute little serial killer," Quinn mumbles under her breath. Rachel's smile disappears and Quinn mentally berates herself from being so casual about her favourite pastime. "Sorry," she says quietly.

"No, it-it's okay." Rachel smiles but it doesn't fool Quinn. She doesn't have the energy to talk about it right now so she nods faintly and closes her eyes. She feels Rachel press a kiss against her forehead.

"Get some sleep, okay? I'll be at my desk, sweating over my chemistry homework."

"'kay."

Quinn is out like a light before Rachel can finish the first exercise.

* * *

It's dark when Quinn wakes up from a nightmare. It's the same one she always has: her father killing her mother and sister, except this time the cops don't arrive just in time to save Quinn. She can still see the manic look in Russell's eyes as he slices her open with a calm and steady hand. She looks around the dark room that is definitely not her own and remembers that she's with Rachel. One look to her right confirms it; Rachel is sound asleep, curled up close to Quinn – but not actually touching her.

Quinn quietly sneaks out of Rachel's room and goes downstairs, into the kitchen to get a cold glass of water. She sits down at the breakfast bar and stares at the neon red light of the microwave.

At least she had a few hours of sleep before she woke up. It doesn't make sense to her but she must feel safer with Rachel and she knows she can't afford to indulge in said safety again because of Russell. She finished her glass of water and heads back to Rachel's bed, determined to get a few more hours of sleep.

* * *

She goes to school with Rachel the next day and she's aware of the girl's gaze on her whenever they're near each other. She understands that she's worried but it's starting to bother Quinn. It's making her paranoid, feeling like she's being watched. More than once she had thought Rachel was the one looking at her only to turn around and find no trace of the other girl. By the end of the day she was completely strung out.

It doesn't help when she sees Finn towering over Rachel in the hallway after school. She walks over to them and stops next to Rachel, shooting Finn a cold glare before she faces Rachel with a questioning eyebrow.

"What's he doing here?" she asks, not caring that her possessiveness is coming up, or that Rachel is no longer hers.

"Hello Quinn," Rachel replies politely. "Finn merely wanted to enquire about my day."

"Is that so?" Quinn mumbles, returning her glare to Finn. The tall boy looks confused but attempts to return Quinn's glare. Her lips quirk at his constipated expression and she rolls her eyes before questioning him. "What do you want?" she asks harshly.

"It's none of your business."

Quinn snorts and cocks her hip. "Yeah? I think you're mistaken. I think you're hitting on Rachel and it most certainly is my business."

"Quinn," Rachel says softly as she places her hand on Quinn's forearm. "He's not hitting on me, okay? We're just talking."

"Yeah, Quinn. Oh, and, didn't you guys break up? Like, Rachel's single now so back off."

Quinn squints at Finn, taking a step closer to him and ignoring Rachel's hand tightening around her arm. "Touch her and I will kill you," she practically growls and she can tell Finn feels threatened as he takes a step away from her.

"Okay, um, Quinn? Come on, I'll drive you home," Rachel interferes. She grabs Quinn's hand and practically drags her along. "Bye Finn, I'll talk to you later!" she shouts over her shoulder, not seeing the dejected look on the boy's face.

Neither of them says a word until they're on their way to Quinn's house.

"What was that all about?"

"I don't like him," she answers with a shrug.

"I understand that but, Quinn, you... you're acting like my girlfriend and while I greatly value your friendship and have found your possessiveness quite attractive when we were together, I think you need to take a step back, okay?"

"You want me to back off?" Quinn is looking at Rachel but the smaller girl keeps her eyes on the road and that answers her question. "Okay. I'll back off. Just don't force me into any more sleepovers and I won't be confused about our relationship, or friendship, whatever. Oh, and don't call me baby, either," she replies testily.

Rachel pulls up in front of the house and turns to face Quinn. "I know things are confusing between us. I-I'm, I don't know. I honestly don't know what I'm doing. My mind and my heart are seemingly unable to come to a conclusion about you. I am sorry about yesterday, it certainly didn't help make things easier but I  _want_  to help you. You don't need to face these things alone."

"I thought you just said you want me to back off?" Quinn rubs her forehead, she can feel a headache coming on and Rachel's confusing speech about being confused isn't helping.

"That was regarding Finn. For the record: I am not interested in dating him in any way or form, so you don't have to worry or go around ruffling your feathers at any potential suitors."

"Ruffling my feathers? Rachel..."

Rachel rolls her eyes and moves on. "Anyway. I am here for you, an-and I will try to be less confusing." She nods a few times and Quinn chuckles.

"Okay. I'm glad we cleared this up, somewhat..."

"Me, too," Rachel replies with a soft smile. "Will you be alright?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Thanks, Rachel."

"Anytime. I mean it."

"I know. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Until then. Good night, Quinn."

"Good night."

* * *

There's no evidence of Russell, nothing that proves that he's there, except for Quinn's instinct telling her he's around. A week passes without incident and she knows he's waiting for her to let her guard down but she won't.

She doesn't want to rely on Rachel so she makes sure she exercises enough during the day that she's absolutely beat by the time she crawls into bed. It works well enough, though she hasn't got a clue what to do about the nightmares. They're becoming more and more frequent and she knows it's because of Russell.

Things with Rachel are still confusing but she's trying not to act like a jealous ex-girlfriend, even though her protectiveness of Rachel has always been there. They're spending more time together but always inside, away from prying eyes. There haven't been any slip-ups and it feels like things are working out the way they are, which is basically a relationship without the physical aspect. Although Rachel tends to touch Quinn more than she should; just little touches but they have a definite effect on Quinn.

It's Sunday and they just went to get some breakfast when they return to Quinn's house.

"Do you want to stay? Watch a movie, maybe?" Quinn asks as they're lingering by the front door.

"Sure, I'd like that," Rachel replies easily, nudging Quinn's shoulder lightly.

Quinn smiles and unlocks the door, holding it open for Rachel before closing it behind her. There are voices coming from the living room and, while Quinn would usually go upstairs without introducing herself, Rachel is annoyingly curious and walks towards the sounds. Quinn rolls her eyes but follows the smaller girl.

She comes to a stop next to Rachel and feels like someone just hit her in the face with a jackhammer.

"Oh, Quinnie! You're home! I didn't expect you so soon," Gwendolyn says as she gets up from the couch and walks over to the two girls to pull them both into a quick hug. Quinn hardly notices, however. Her hazel eyes are fixed on the man still sitting on the couch. Her breathing is growing shallower and her hands are getting clammy.

"Quinn?" Rachel asks softly, taking in the taller girl's posture and slightly heaving chest.

She steels her jaw and looks at Rachel, she wants to reassure her but she can't. All she can do is pull up all her defences if she wants to prevent a breakdown in front of him.

Gwendolyn frowns at her daughter but she's used to Quinn's irrational mood swings so she shrugs it off and attributes it to a bad day. "Quinn, Rachel, this is Trevor. We met at the grocery store; he ran his cart over my brand new boots and insisted on making it up to me," she relays with a subtle smile. "We've gone on a couple of dates already, I have been thinking about introducing him to you, Quinnie, but there you go."

Quinn hasn't moved an inch and it's starting to worry Rachel; the blonde's gaze is firmly fixed on Trevor, who is smiling back at her. There's something about his smile, though. It's very unpleasant to behold and it's solely for Quinn's benefit because when Gwendolyn sits back down next to him, he schools his features into a more pleasant smile.

Rachel doesn't know what's going on but she feels like she should get Quinn out of there so she clears her throat. "Ah, um, it was nice to meet you but we really should head upstairs. Homework to attend to, I'm sure you understand." Without waiting for an answer she pulls Quinn with her, not letting go of the blonde's hand until they reach the safety of her room. Rachel closes the door behind them and regards Quinn.

"What's wrong, Quinn?" she asks, sitting down on the edge of Quinn's bed.

Quinn remains silent but takes a few steps towards Rachel. She stops and looks down at her. "Russell."

Rachel blinks in confusion before her eyes widen. " _Russell_?"

Nodding, Quinn releases a shuddering breath and drops to her knees in front of Rachel. She hides her face behind her hands and takes a series of deep breaths. Rachel hastily joins Quinn on the floor and wraps her arms around the now shaking girl.

She doesn't know what to say, there isn't exactly a standard response for this type of situation. Quinn's father, who brutally murdered her sister and mother in front of her eyes and tried to kill her before fleeing the scene, is now dating Gwendolyn; saying everything will be okay doesn't seem to cut it.

Quinn is clinging to Rachel like she'll drown without her but she knows she needs to get the other girl away from Russell. "Rach," she chokes out. "You have to go."

She feels Rachel pulling back and she lets her go.

"W-what? Why?"

"I-I don't want him anywhere near you. He'll know, he'll know that I love you and he'll go after you and I don't know if I can protect you."

"Why don't you go to police? Tell Gwen, tell her who he is. You have other options, Quinn. Please don't push me away."

Rachel has a point, she realises. She knows one of Chris's friends from the Columbus police force is retired and lives across town, if she went to him she could get Russell brought to justice. Part of her wants to do it herself but he scares her and that will make her lose focus, mistakes will be made and she'll end up dead. It's not the time to take risks; it's time to play it safe.

"You're right. You're right." Quinn takes a calming breath and seems to realise her position. She sighs and gets up, offering a hand to Rachel. She takes it gratefully and they both sit down on the edge of Quinn's bed.

"I just, he scares me so much, Rachel." Her voice is small and so unlike the unflappable Quinn that Rachel knows; all she wants to do is wrap Quinn in her arms and never let go but that wouldn't help the fact that there's a killer in the house. Another one, that is.

"It's okay, you're safe. Gwen's downstairs and he won't do anything right now. It's alright."

Rachel's voice is soothing and Quinn takes a large breath, calming herself down. "Yeah, okay."

"Do you want to come home with me?"

Quinn wants to say yes but she can't leave Gwendolyn, not now that Russell has decided to reveal himself. The game has well and truly begun.

"I can't, I can't leave Gwen."

"Do you think he'll hurt her?"

"I don't know." Quinn gets up and paces the length of her room. Her thoughts are jumbled and she can't seem to get anything straight. " _Godfuckingdamnit!_ "

Rachel jumps a little at the outburst and Quinn calms down. "I'm sorry. Shit. Okay. You have to go." Rachel opens her mouth to protest but Quinn shushes her. "Listen to me, I cannot and will not risk your life, do you understand?" She nods. "Good. Because, believe me, that man had no trouble slaughtering his own family, he won't hesitate to go after you."

"Quinn..."

"I'm sorry but I need you to understand what's happening. I have someone I can contact, he worked with Chris on my case, he'll know what to do but until this is over I need you to stay away from me."

"I don't..."

"I'm not giving you a choice, Rachel. Please. Promise me you won't come near me. I can't be wondering if you're okay or not while I'm taking care of this." Quinn's pleading and she'll beg if necessary but Rachel nods shakily and gets up.

"Be careful," she says, standing in front of Quinn.

"I will."

"I know I said I couldn't be with you because of – because of the killing but –"

"Rachel, don't."

"I don't want to lose you," Rachel says. Her bottom lip is trembling and her eyes are filling with tears and Quinn can't stand it.

"You're not going to lose me, okay? I'll be fine. He scares me but I can hold my own if need be."

A tear slides down Rachel's cheek, followed by another one. Quinn sighs and gently wraps her arms around Rachel, pulling the smaller girl into her.

"This isn't goodbye, Superstar. We'll talk about everything in a few days, alright?"

She feels Rachel nod into her shoulder and she briefly tightens her hold before letting go and taking a reluctant step back.

"I love you," Rachel says, sniffling lightly.

Quinn gives her a small smile. "I love you, Rach."

"Okay. Okay, I'll – I'll see you later?"

"You will see me later, I promise," Quinn says, making sure to expel any hesitancy from her answer. "Oh, hey, use the backdoor, alright? And be safe."

Rachel nods jerkily and, with one last look at the taller girl, leaves the room. Quinn closes her eyes for a moment, forcing herself to hold back tears. She'll be careful, she'll do everything in her power to be safe and make it through but she forces herself to accept the fact that things can go horribly wrong. A lone tear escapes and she wipes it away quickly.

All she wants is to run after Rachel and kiss her one last time but she can't. She has to focus on Russell now, and only Russell. She walks over to her desk, sits down and opens her laptop. Time to find Chris's old partner and get this over with.


	10. The Villain

He found her. After thirteen years of searching, he  _finally_  found her.

He spent five years lying low because of that cop, the one who adopted his daughter until he met his untimely end. After that he had to rebuild his life, change his name, get a new job, a home, a respectable reputation as Trevor Dixon – car sales manager at Daryl's Automotors in Dayton.

Yes, he had spent a lot of time working on making himself seem like a regular Joe on the outside, while on the inside all he could think about was Lucy. She should have been the easiest to kill, she was the youngest, the weakest, but she must have had a guardian angel looking over her.

He had imagined seeing her again. Year after year he imagined how she'd look, what she'd be doing, how he'd finally dispose of her. He must have gone over every possible method to kill her; his mind wasn't exactly a pleasant place to anyone but him.

And then, fate struck. He was in Lima for business-related reasons when he spotted her in the restaurant where he decided to eat that night. She was seventeen by now and all grown up but he immediately recognised her as his little Lucy.

She was sitting across from a brunette and was smiling. She was smiling. He felt rage bubble inside, thinking that she shouldn't be smiling after what happened to her. She didn't get to be okay after what he did. What kind of monster recovered from that? Lucille reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind the brunette's ear and he growled lowly. The touch was intimate,  _too_ intimate for them to be just friends.

He lost his appetite and decided to wait in his car. He would follow Lucille – and her  _friend_  – and he would finish what he started.

* * *

His daughter was a killer. Like him.

He chuckled as he watched the blonde dump a black garbage bag in the river before heading back inside the barn. He put down his binoculars on the empty passenger seat and his chuckle turned into laughter.

She was a cool-blooded murdered. He had turned her into a monster. He had successfully killed the girl that used to be Lucy – his sweet and innocent daughter. That night he dreamed of the-girl-that-used-to-be-Lucy, of the two of them, father and daughter, going on a killing spree across the country. A trail of blood would be their legacy; a trail of destruction, misery, heartbreak and despair.

He watched her get in her car and he once again followed her home. The house he assumed was her home was actually the brunette's home and he slammed his hands down onto the steering wheel as he watched them locked in a passionate embrace on the front porch.

This girl was an anomaly. Monsters didn't love, they  _destroyed_ , they  _ruined_. His daughter was being held back by the girl and he would make sure that there were no distractions. He wants her to reach her full potential and he'd make damn sure she does.

* * *

 _Quinn._ That's what she's being called now. He remembers Judy insisting on having Quinn as the girl's middle name, if not her first. The rage was back, knowing that Lucille was still under Judy's influence and not his. At least she hadn't changed her last name.

He finds out where she lives and soon gathers that she's living with a single woman. She looks friendly, with kind bright blue-gray eyes, black hair that falls over her shoulders and an easy smile and he suddenly knows what to do in order to get to  _Quinn_.

He apologises profusely as he 'accidentally' rolls his cart over her foot and she smiles at him, telling him it's no big deal but he insists on buying her a coffee to ease his guilt. She says yes and he has found his in.

Daryl agrees to relocate him to the Lima branch and he ends up renting an apartment not far from McKinley High. He starts dating Gwendolyn and slowly he begins to ask about _Quinn_. He learns that Gwendolyn adopted her at the age of ten and that she's never had any real trouble with the girl but that's a bit stand-offish and emotionally cool because of a personal trauma. She won't go into detail about said trauma but Russell knows and again he feels proud of what he created.

The girl corrupting his daughter is called Rachel Berry – he inwardly scoffs at the ridiculous name – and the two have been dating for a few months; Gwendolyn isn't exactly sure how long because  _Quinn_  isn't exactly forthcoming with personal information. She talks a bit about Rachel, how she's a joy to have around and how she's really good for her daughter. He wants to lunge across the table and smother her in her pasta when she says the words ( _her_  daughter) but all he does is nod his head and chuckle, mumbling something about young love.

* * *

Gwendolyn calls him and tells him  _Quinn_ is in the hospital; she took a tumble off a pyramid – he doesn't quite understand – and it's serious so he offers to drive her to the hospital, saying she is in no state to drive. She agrees and he finds out which room his daughter is in. He drives Gwendolyn home and returns.  _Quinn's_  eyes flutter open and focus on him. He feels giddy that she's finally aware of his presence but she's too loopy from the medication and she passes out again before he can talk to her.

After that he can tell that she's aware of his presence. She's always looking around, her posture tense and ready and he enjoys playing with her. That's why he leaves her a pint of Ben & Jerry's and a note.

He watches her avoid the small girl and he knows what she's doing; she's trying to keep her safe. It amuses him and yet, it makes him break his travel mug in fury. She's not supposed to protect anyone, least of all a  _girl_. It's wrong, it's a sin and he won't have his daughter sinning.

The girl needs to go.

* * *

The television is playing and Gwendolyn is chattering but he can't focus on anything but the front door. It's late Sunday afternoon and he's going to meet his daughter today. He's tired of waiting. It's time to up the game.

He's getting tired of Gwendolyn, as well. Once he gets  _Quinn_  he can stop pretending. It's disgusting him but it's a sacrifice he has to make and he does it willingly.

Finally. The front door opens and Rachel enters the living room first. His fists clench but he schools his features into a pleasant smile until a taller blonde appears behind the brunette.

His daughter looks at him and he can tell she's scared. He revels in it but she's gone all too fast; pulled away by the other girl. He briefly wonders exactly how much this Rachel knows before determining that she knows too much.

Now that he's shown his face he needs to act fast before his plans can be thwarted by something as silly as a squad of police officers. Nothing and no one will keep him from getting his girl and destroying her for good.


	11. Battle Without Honor Or Humanity

Quinn looks up the address for Detective Roger's old partner, Hal Eccleston, and leaves that same afternoon. Russell is no longer there when she comes downstairs and she's relieved that she won't have to face him again.

"Gwen, I have to go do something but I'll be back in time for dinner!" she announces, already on her way to the front door.

"Okay, sweetie. Have fun!"

She doubts she'll have fun but she says thanks and shuts the door behind her. The drive up to Columbus gives her time to think; what is she going to tell Hal, will he believe her, does Russell know what's she doing right now?

Does Russell know where Rachel lives? How long has he been watching her?

Shit.

She grabs her iPhone from her jeans pocket while keeping an eye on the road and dials Rachel's number. "Come on, Rach, pick up," she mumbles, hearing nothing but the dial tone.

"Hello, you've reached Rachel Barbra Berry's phone. I'm not here right now so please leave a message and I'll contact you as soon as possible."

"Motherfucker!" Quinn ends the call and throws her phone onto the passenger's seat. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

She thinks about turning back but she can't. She needs to talk to Hal and return home with a fucking army of police men; that's the way to solve this mess. She can't afford to step into Russell's trap, even if he has Rachel, which she isn't sure he does. Rachel will be okay, she tells herself, Rachel is strong and she'll be okay. Quinn pushes her right foot down on the gas pedal and reaches Hal's place of residence within half an hour.

He lives in a quiet neighbourhood on the outside of Columbus, in a white two-storey house. She parks her car and hurries to the front door, unwilling to waste any time she rings the bell and knocks on the door a few times. Somewhere around her fifth knock the door swings open.

"Hello?"

The man in front of her is older than she had expected and one look at his milky white eyes tells her that he is blind and won't be of any use to her, but she has to try.

"Hello Mr. Eccleston, my name is Quinn Fabray."

"Fabray?" He frowns, probably searching the depths of his aged mind for information. "Where have I heard that before?"

"I'm the girl that Chris Rogers adopted after my father killed my mother and sister."

He's quiet for a moment and she knows he remembers. "W-what brings you to my doorstep, Miss Fabray?

"He's back, my father, he's back and I know he wants to finish what he started."

Hal takes a deep, wheezing breath and shuffles closer to her. "Leave," he whispers through clenched teeth but she doesn't understand. He grabs her wrist and leans even closer but before he can repeat what he said he's interrupted by a voice from inside.

"It's about time you showed up, I've been waiting for at least half an hour."

She spotted Russell walking towards them and she felt her heart rate pick up dramatically. She couldn't let her fear get the better of her, she needed to stay calm. She kept repeating the mantra in her head until he was standing in front of her.

"Well, aren't you going to say hello to your father?"

He was mocking her and she desperately wanted to wipe that horrible smirk off his face but she couldn't, not yet. She'd have to play his game until she could come up with a better plan. Hal is clearly no longer an option. She squares her shoulders and stares at Russell with a mask of indifference. "Hello,  _Father_ ," she says through clenched teeth.

"So," he says, clapping his hands once before continuing. "Now that you're here, we can get started."

He looks at her, clearly expecting her to enter the house but Hal was blocking the way in. She watches as he extracts a pocket knife from his pocket and lifts his hand slowly. Her stomach drops when Russell snatches the knife from his hands, chuckling. "I'm offended, Hal. Did you really think I wouldn't notice? You blind fool," he says as he buries the knife in Hal's neck.

Quinn bites her tongue to keep from reacting. She didn't really know the man who is now crumpling to the floor while blood spurts from the wound in his neck, but she knows he doesn't deserve to die, especially not at the hands of Russell.

Russell nudges the dying man aside with his expensive leather shoes and grabs a hold of Quinn's sweater, yanking her inside the house before closing the door.

She stumbles over Hal's outstretched legs and falls face first on the floor. There's blood everywhere and the sound of Hal choking and spluttering reaches her ears. It doesn't affect her, not really, but she wishes the man didn't have to suffer like this. A hand grasps the back of her sweater and roughly pulls her to her feet.

"What are you doing," Russell hisses.

Quinn raises her eyebrow at him and refuses to speak. He grunts and pushes her in front of him, guiding her through the house to the stairway. "I have a surprise waiting for you in the attic," he says as he pushes her up the stairs. "I'm sure you'll appreciate it."

She scoffs but refrains from reacting until they reach the topmost floor of the house. Russell opens the door and urges her inside. She's greeted by a sight that makes her blood run cold.

"Rachel," she whispers, very much aware of Russell's presence next to her.

There are two heavy chains hanging from the ceiling; they're attached to Rachel's wrist, holding her arms up over her head. Her back is pressed against the wall and she's shifting on her feet; it's clear to Quinn that the chains are forcing her to stand on her tiptoes to keep her shoulders from being dislocated.

The door to the attic closes and Russell walks over to Rachel with clear distaste on his face. "This girl has been tainting you," he says. "I've seen what you're capable of, Lucille, and yet you choose to hold yourself back and all because of  _this_." He grabs Rachel's chin and forces her to look at him.

"Lucy, come here."

Quinn looks at the man and then at Rachel. She looks so scared and tiny, all Quinn wants to do is hold her and never let go. She takes a breath and slowly makes her way over to Russell. "Whatever you're planning, it's not going to work," she says, fixing Russell with a steely gaze, determined not to let him get to her.

"I'm trying to help you reach your true potential but I see you're too far gone." He walks over to a table on the side of the room and Quinn wonders how she overlooked it because the items on the table look a lot like the tools she uses for killing. He's standing with his back towards the girls and Quinn wastes no time.

"Are you okay?" she asks quietly while studying the chains holding Rachel. She can tell she won't get Rachel free without alerting Russell.

"I'm fine," Rachel replies silently.

"Okay. Okay, I'm going to get you out of here, okay? Just, just hold on," Quinn mumbles before she turns around. Russell is done sharpening a filleting knife –  _her_  filleting knife – and makes his way back over to them with a wicked smile on his face.

Quinn shifts so that she's standing in front of Rachel and Russell raises his eyebrow. He chuckles and shakes his head in amusement. "You're delusional if you think you can save your little  _friend_  here, Lucille."

"My name is  _Quinn_ ," she says through clenched teeth. "And you won't hurt Rachel. I won't let you."

"Well then,  _Quinn_ , explain to me how exactly you plan to stop me? I don't see any knives, guns or heavy objects you could bludgeon me with. All I see is a foolish, weak girl trying to protect an even weaker girl."

Russell lifts his knife and walks closer to Quinn, who backs up until she's pressed up against Rachel. With nowhere to go she represses her fear and stands her ground. He lifts his hand to her face and slides the flat of the knife over her cheek and down across her jaw and her throat before he uses the sharp side to leave a superficial cut to her left cheek.

"Quinn!"

She realises that Rachel is right there and she can see everything up close. She doesn't speak but reaches back her right hand and subtly places it against Rachel's stomach, trying to offer her some comfort. Russell snarls at Rachel and tries to shove Quinn out of the way but she won't move. She won't let him hurt Rachel, even if it's the last thing she does.

"No." Russell is starting to look angry and Quinn forces herself to stay calm. "You don't get to touch her. Whatever you have planned, you can do it to me."

"Qu—"

Rachel has to stay quiet, she's trying to distract Russell from her and it won't work like this. Quinn presses her hand more firmly against Rachel and the girl stops talking. She briefly thanks Rachel for being so perceptive and glares at Russell. "Well?"

"That's more like it! I've been watching you, you know?"

"Oh, I know."

"The moment I realised you were like me, there aren't words to describe how proud I felt."

"I'm nothing like you, Russell. I am the way I am because of what you did; you're a monster."

He's getting angry and that's exactly what Quinn wants. She knows that when he's furious he'll lash out, he'll get careless and that's when she'll make her move. Quinn is careful and calculating, she won't lose her cool... she hopes. She's not certain what will happen if he gets to Rachel, if he even so much as puts a hair out of place... She breathes in through her nose and focuses on the task at hand.

"I saw you kill those people in cold blood. You didn't even twitch when you slit their throats. You're a murderer, Lucille, and I had nothing to do with it."

"Those people I killed? Each and every one of them reminded me of you; that's how I was able to kill them without giving a fuck. Just like I'll kill you without shedding any tears," She pauses and smirks at him. " _Daddy._ "

Russell's grip on the knife tightens, turning his knuckles white and Quinn knows she's almost there. "What exactly is your plan, anyway? Do you think we'll end up going on father-daughter killing sprees across the country? Is that it?"

The vain on his forehead is starting to stand out and she hears Rachel whimper behind her.

"You're corrupted! Brainwashed by her!" He looks at Rachel and Quinn shifts a little to her left, obstructing Rachel from his view.

"You're wrong. You're the one who corrupted me by killing my family in front of me," she says, her voice rising slightly at the memories.

Russell scoffs. "You're so misguided, Lucille."

"Yeah? And you decided to fix me?"

"That's right. You need guidance; you need a strong father-figure to teach you the ways. That's why I brought you here, to this attic, with this girl. I'm going to help you start anew. You'll become who you were supposed to be, without distractions, without sinful desires!"

"Sinful desires?" Quinn snorts. "Isn't murder a sin?"

She's almost got Russell over the edge, the hand holding her knife is shaking and his breathing is growing shallower. " _Enough!_ " he shouts. He grabs Quinn by the collar of her sweater and shoves her against the wall, next to Rachel. He holds the knife against her throat and leans in close.

"Watch your tongue, young lady, or I'll be forced to remove it."

Quinn thinks Rachel wouldn't like that very much once they made it out of that attic and she clenches her jaw, keenly aware of the blade that is digging into her skin.

Russell gives her a satisfied smirk and glances over at Rachel, who is looking at Quinn with worried eyes. "I think it's time we got started," he says and releases Quinn.

He makes his way back over to the table at the other side of the room, no doubt to select a different tool. Quinn uses her sleeve to wipe away the blood from the cut on her cheek and turns to Rachel.

"Quinn, what are we going to do?" Rachel whispers. She's scared and Quinn needs to come up with something to get her out of there.

"I don't know," she says. "But I won't let him hurt you, I promise."

"Lucy, come here."

Quinn checks to see if Russell is watching her and when she's sure he isn't she places a sweet but quick kiss on Rachel's lips. "It's going to be okay," she whispers before she slowly makes her way over to Russell.

She can see the items on the table now and they are indeed all hers.

"I noticed you like to use these to pull out your victims teeth." He holds up the pliers. "I won't ignore the importance of keepsakes; go collect your souvenir, Lucille."

"What, you want me to pull out Rachel's teeth?"

"Yes."

"Yeah, that's not going to happen," she says, shaking her head.

Russell throws the pliers at her and she's got no choice but to catch them. "You'll do as I say or I'll do it myself!" he snarls.

She has no doubt that he'd do it himself and it leaves her with very little choice. If she refuses it will only makes things worse, mostly for Rachel, and she won't allow it. She won't let Russell hurt Rachel, she promised as much and she intends to keep her promise. "Fine."

Slowly, she walks back towards Rachel. Russell is right behind her and she doesn't know what to do next. She can't do it; she can't pull out Rachel's teeth, so she'll have to find a solution and fast.

"Quinn, what—"

"Quiet!" Russell snaps at her.

Quinn tightens her grip on the pliers and looks at Rachel. She takes a deep breath and raises her hand while turning around quickly, ready to hit Russell in the head. Her hand is met with resistance and it becomes clear that Russell had been prepared for her to do this. His eyes are filled with rage and he tightens his hold on Quinn's wrist until she's forced to release the pliers. They clatter to the ground but Russell doesn't stop squeezing her wrist until he hears a satisfying crack.

She refuses to cry out in pain but she gasps for air because, damn, it hurts.

"I'll do it myself," he spits out and pushes Quinn out of the way. He picks up the fallen tool and closes in on Rachel. "Open your mouth."

Rachel does exactly the opposite and shakes her head. He growls and wraps his free hand around her throat, squeezing until Rachel's face turns red and she's forced to open her mouth or she'll pass out. He quickly holds her chin and shoves the pliers between her teeth so that she's unable to close her mouth again.

Quinn hears Rachel's whimpers and she springs into action. Russell is taller than her but he doesn't see her coming so she practically jumps on his back and wraps her arm around his throat. He reels back, away from Rachel, while he tries to shake Quinn off of him.

He forcefully backs into the wall and the impact takes Quinn's breath away but she keeps holding on until he finally slumps forwards and falls to the floor. Quinn gets up and carefully nudges him with the tip of her shoe. He doesn't move so she turns away from him and runs over to the table, grabbing the axe she saw earlier before running back towards Rachel.

"Quinn!"

"Rach, shh, it'll be okay," Quinn mumbles while she studies the chains. One good swing would do it. "Close your eyes."

Rachel does as she's told and Quinn widens her stance before lifting the axe. Her wrist hurts faintly when she swings, the adrenaline coursing through her body is preventing her from feeling the full effect of the injury, and she misses the chain and she has to try again. She glances over her shoulder to check on Russell and she sighs in relief to see that he's still down. She strikes again and this time the chains clatter to the ground, freeing Rachel.

Rachel's eyes fly open and she flings herself into Quinn's arms. Quinn knows they have to leave as fast as they can but the feeling of Rachel in her arms is overriding her instincts. "Quinn," Rachel sobs into her shoulder and she tightens her hold.

"It's okay, baby. Everything is okay."

Rachel nods but refuses to let go and Quinn has to take a step back to break their embrace. "We have to go, Rach."

She holds out her good hand and smiles when Rachel takes it. She turns around and begins to walk towards the door when Russell grabs a hold of her ankle and she stumbles to the ground, using her broken wrist to break her fall. Rachel is still clinging to her hand and she's desperately trying to get Quinn on her feet again.

"Oh god, Quinn! Quinn, get up!" Rachel is crying now and Quinn is fighting against Russell hold but he's too strong and then she's forced to release Rachel's hand or she'll pull her down as well. Russell grunts and gets up on his knees, still holding Quinn's leg.

Russell gets up and Quinn knows then that he had been faking it. He didn't pass out at all; he was just waiting for the right time to strike back. She tries to scramble to her feet but he puts his foot on her back and pushes her to ground.

Russell pulls her up on her feet and drags her with him to the table. She sees Rachel bend down and retrieve the pliers that she had dropped earlier and she smiles.

It doesn't last long because Russell throws her on the ground again and kicks her in the ribs. She's sure he broke at least two by the time he's done but while he was doing that Rachel had been slowly making her way towards him, keeping out of his line of sight, so Quinn was happy to distract him.

"I thought you wanted me to join you," she mutters.

"That was before I realised what a lost cause you are, Lucille. You're no different than your mother or your sister and you deserve nothing better than what they received."

"Why did you kill them?" Quinn wanted to know the answer to this question for years and now she finally has the chance, even though Rachel was inching closer and closer to them, she wasn't going to waste this opportunity.

Russell grabs something off the table and crouches down next to Quinn. "I did the world a favour, Lucille. Francine was on her way to puberty and I would have had to witness her turning from an innocent girl into a teenage harlot. Your mother got in the way; she wasn't supposed to be there. And you," he says as he removes his hand from behind his back, showing the knife that he's holding. "You weren't supposed to live. Now look at you, nothing but a whore," he spits and he plunges the knife into Quinn's abdomen.

Quinn cries out in pain and tries to stop Russell from pulling the blade out, knowing it would do a lot more damage that way. He ignores her and lifts the knife, poising to strike again. "Any last words, Lucille? I realise that it's more than I allowed your mother and sister, but you managed to survive so I'll grant you this much."

"Bite me," Quinn says through clenched teeth. Russell chuckles and just as the blade enters her left shoulder Rachel steps up behind him and bashes him in the head with the pliers. He falls forward onto Quinn and she feels the knife bury itself deeper into her shoulder.

"Rachel," she mumbles.

Rachel, spurred on by adrenaline, manages to roll Russell off of Quinn and then she falls to her knees next to Quinn. There's a lot of blood and Quinn can see Rachel start to panic. "Call 9-1-1, okay? I'll be-be fine."

The last thing she hears is Rachel talking rapidly and telling her to stay awake, but her eyelids feel too heavy and she can't help it. She closes her eyes and everything goes black.


	12. Some Die Young

The only sound Rachel hears is the clattering of raindrops on her black umbrella. Of course it's raining; it's a funeral so there has to be rain. It's the way it's supposed to be, isn't it?

The priest is speaking but she's not paying attention to what he's saying. She watches the casket being lowered into the ground and she sobs quietly.

All she can think about is Quinn. What would have happened if things were different? She wasted so much time after Quinn had told her she's a killer. They never should have broken up. Rachel never stopped loving Quinn, maybe she wanted to but it wasn't possible, her heart was set on Quinn.

She knows now that Quinn would have never hurt her and her fear – because she  _had_  been scared at first – had been so misplaced.

Strong arms wrap around her from behind and she leans back against the warm body, revelling in the feeling of safety that comes with being in Quinn's embrace.

"Are you okay?" Quinn asks, her lips grazing Rachel's ear as she speaks quietly.

Rachel nods and places her free hand on top of Quinn's. "I'm just relieved, I think," she replies.

"Yeah, me too. Come on, let's go home."

They take one last look at the grave that is now being closed and then turn around. Behind them a tombstone is being put into place. The name neatly engraved in the grey stone reads 'Russell Simon Fabray.'

* * *

They're lying in Quinn's bed; Rachel snuggled up against Quinn's side, careful not to put any pressure on her still-healing wounds. Quinn is lazily dragging her hand up and down Rachel's back, enjoying the comfort the other girl is offering her.

"What's going to happen now?" Rachel asks after a while.

"Hm?"

"I killed someone," she replies quietly, still unable to wrap her mind around it.

"It was self-defence, Rachel."

"I know that, I just meant... How am I supposed to deal with it? I-I don't feel guilty, I don't, he was going to kill you and I did what I had to in order to stop that but..."

"You took someone's life," Quinn finishes. "I don't think I'm the right person to talk to about this. Didn't your psychologist make you talk about it?"

"Yes, she did, but she doesn't know what it feels like. You do."

Quinn stills her hand and sighs. She nudges Rachel so she can sit upright, her back resting against the headboard. Rachel follows suit and looks at her.

"Russell was a bad guy, Rachel. He killed two of the people I loved the most and took away my chance at a normal life. Now he got to you, too. I don't think I've ever felt this powerless in my life. I wish I had paid more attention, I should have killed him the second he was on the floor, I just wanted you out of there and, god, I'm so sorry." She feels a few tears make their way down her face and she hastily wipes them away. Whatever happened to not crying, she wonders briefly before Rachel takes hold of her hand and demands her attention.

"I don't know what to say, Quinn. I can't begin to imagine how you feel but he didn't get to me, okay? I'm glad I was able to protect you from him and, yes, I'm upset about what happened and I'll probably never be okay with it but I'm not going to turn into..."

"Me." Rachel opens her mouth but Quinn continues. "It's okay, Rachel. I know you didn't mean it like that but you're right. You're not going to turn into me. I wish I could say that I understand how you feel but I can't. You're better of talking to someone who thinks killing a person is dreadful. I think that, I mean, I feel horrible about the fact that you lost that innocence and I never wanted you to experience that but I can't walk you through this. I can't be the one to tell you how to make it better. I know why you asked me, I really do, and I so wish I could help you with this, but I'm sorry. I'll be here for you in whatever way you need me but I can't do this for you."

"It's okay," Rachel says quietly. "I understand. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry."

Rachel's eyes flit over Quinn's face and she waits patiently until she's done studying her. She shimmies down the mattress and motions for Quinn to do the same so that they can resume their cuddling. Quinn chuckles lightly and moves down. Rachel immediately latches on to her and releases a sigh.

"What's going to happen between us now?"

"I don't know. What do you want?"

It was pretty much Rachel's call; it had been from the start. Quinn loves Rachel and she wants to be with her, but she's not certain Rachel wants to be with her. She knows that Rachel loves her but she doesn't what that means in terms of their relationship.

"I know that I came far too close to losing you and that I love you more than I ever loved anyone. I want to be with you, so badly, but I don't know if I can be okay with you going out every few weeks to kill someone."

"Yeah." It's all she can say. She can't promise Rachel she won't kill anymore because it's not a promise she can keep. "I wish could change for you, be the person you deserve, but I can't."

"You're the love of my life, Quinn."

"Same," Quinn mumbles as she leans forward and places a kiss on the corner of Rachel's mouth. It's been a while since they've kissed and they haven't figured out how to make this work between them and she really shouldn't make things worse for the both of them but she needs this and when Rachel inhales softly before turning her head slightly so that their lips are barely touching she knows that Rachel needs it too.

Their lips meet in a passionate kiss and both Rachel and Quinn sigh in relief. Quinn repositions herself onto her side, now facing Rachel, and draws the smaller girl closer until their bodies are touching. She feels Rachel slip her leg in between hers and she moans at the welcome invasion.

They continue their heated make-out session until Rachel's wandering hand accidentally grazes Quinn's stomach wound. Quinn stiffens and inhales sharply and Rachel immediately jumps back and goes into concerned-maybe-girlfriend mode. "Oh, I'm sorry! I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, just don't do that again," Quinn says, smiling lightly to let Rachel know that she really is okay.

Rachel groans and drops her head onto Quinn's shoulder. "It's probably good that we stopped."

"Yeah, probably."

"I can't stay away from you, Quinn. I've tried but I can't."

"Then don't." Quinn shifts a little, making Rachel remove her head from her shoulder. "I don't have a solution for this but, maybe, if you want to give us another try we could figure it out, together."

"But what about the killing?"

"I don't know. If you don't know about it, would that help?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'll make sure you don't know when I do it. You'll never know, Rachel."

Rachel is quiet for a moment but then she nods, hesitantly. "Maybe that could work."

"It isn't perfect, I know. Ignoring the problem won't make it go away but, for now..."

"Okay. Let's do it," Rachel says.

"Yeah?"

"Yes. I don't want to let you go."

Quinn is aware that it's not a solution at all and Rachel might be okay with it now but it won't last. Until then, though, she has time to figure things out. Maybe she can stop with Rachel's help. Maybe they are just not meant to be. Whatever it is, they'll figure it out together and, for now, that's enough for the both of them.


End file.
